"You can call me Mom"

I was laying in bed this morning, listening to my son scream "moooooommmmm" from his bed. He apparently was awake, but too lazy sleepy to walk into my room across the hall! I heard Lilly dart in to save him, pretending to be his Mommy. It went like this:

Lilly: Oh bubby, what's wrong hunny?
Anderson: I want brekafus. (breakfast)
Lilly: Hunny, it's not time for breakfast. It's still night time. (because it's still dark, der!)
Anderson: Okay mommy.
Lilly: You can call me mom.
Anderson: Okay mom.
Me: HEY! I'm the mom! You can call ME mom!
Both kids laugh hysterically, and proceed to call each other mom for the next ten minutes.

I remember when I was younger (hehe!) I used to diiiiiiie at the idea of being called "mom"! I never pictured myself with a kid on my hip, let alone TWO! Now I wanna flick my kids if they call EACH OTHER mom! That's MY name!!!!!!!

Lilly, Mama, and Anderson @ Thanksgiving in Chicago!

It's HEEEEEEEERE!

Winter is here. Boo. It has been raining for two days straight now. My road is flooded (literally). And now the rain is turning to sleet, which is said to turn to snow later tonight. We are projected to get up to five inches through the night and early tomorrow morning. I'm HOPING that this is just Fort Wayne's meteorologists at their finest and we'll wake up tomorrow to birds chirping and the sun shining! Prayers please?

Pic

Weekend of Thanks!

Well, the first of the holiday season is over! Thursday, as I already mentioned, was spent in Wabash at my aunt's house. Friday, it was just me and my boys (JM and Andy). Anderson and I hung out and watched a movie, while JM hung Christmas lights on the house! Then, the three of us went to dinner. It was SO nice to just spend time with the boys, although we all missed Lilly dearly!

Saturday morning we got up early and headed to my brother's house in Chicago. It was a fun little roadtrip! Lilly and Anderson were so excited to be reunited (it had been one whole day, afterall!). It was a fun day, spent with the perfect family! I always love our visits!

Yesterday the kids, JM, and I got home in the early afternoon, only to relax for the rest of the day! We put up our Christmas tree and other Christmas decorations, ordered pizzas (of course!), and just spent the day together. It was the perfect ending to a perfect Thanksgiving weekend!

I Cherish The Time

After the Thanksgiving festivities yesterday, my mom decided to keep Lilly until we all met up again in Chicago for Thanksgiving part deux, on Saturday. Of course I jumped on the chance to be down one kid (hey, everyone needs a break sometimes!), and so Anderson and I were on our way back home, without Lilly. Anderson was missing his sissy before we even got out of Wabash, but I assured him we would do something fun that night. Well, after his coughing progressed to "ew" status, we ended up stopping at Walgreens for some cough medicine and then making our way home to get on warm jammies.
After dinner, Anderson and I cozied up on the couch and watched a movie. I couldn't tell you the last time Anderson sat (still) with me for more than a few minutes. I mean, he is almost FOUR, afterall! But he actually sat on my lap, cuddled up with a blanket, and watched an hour of the movie, before he asked to go to bed (told ya he wasn't feeling well!).
I truly cherish the alone time with each of my kids. It's rare, but when it happens, I just eat it up. They are both SO different. Where Anderson is content sitting at home with a movie and leftovers, Lilly would rather be out and about (pedicure and dinner, for example!). They are such beautiful little blessings, I wouldn't change a thing about either of them.
Thanks mom, for giving me the chance to do this. I love you so much and I know Lilly loves the time with her Nana too! 

Happy Thanksgiving

At the risk of being predictable, I thought it'd be nice to take today and write about what I'm thankful for...

• My perfect-to-me babies. I wouldn't be where I am today without them. They are my world and I will spend my whole life loving them unconditionally and making sure they are taken care of. 
• My family. Without their support, I'd be lost. They have been my rock, my soft place to land, my sounding board, and my sanity. I have the best family in the world!
• My job. I have met the most amazing people through my job. I love what I do, and I love the people I work with. My job was the first step to becoming the independent person I am today. 
• My friends. I have learned over the years who to trust, who I can count on, and who to listen to. I have weeded out the toxic relationships in my life, and those who remain are TRUE friends. I am forever grateful to those trustworthy, honest friendships in my life. 
• My boyfriend. He is the most incredibly patient, understanding, forgiving,nurturing, loving man I've ever met. His optimism is inspiring, his good mood contagious. I love loving him. 

It has been an awesome year and I'm so excited to kick off the holiday season today with family! 

SURPRISE!

I hate surprises. Plain and simple. I love gifts, der, but I HATE to be surprised! This causes a little trouble at Christmas time. All I want to do is tell everyone what I bought them BEFORE Christmas! I am like a child. I cannot keep secrets about gifts! It's torturing me to wait until Christmas to find out what other people are getting! It's not even that I want to know what I got (although I'm very excited for that too, of course!)! I just get so anxious! I've been begging JM to let us do our Christmas this weekend, but he's not going for it (Scrooge), so if I spill the beans and tell him what I got him, sometime within the next month, it's not my fault!

The Face God Gave Me is Flawed!

I don't care what people say, there's nothing wrong with getting a little work done! In a news-worthy story earlier this week, it was reported that Kate Gosseling may or may not have had a little work done. And? I say anyone who had eight children is MORE than entitled to get a tummy tuck, boob job, and whatever else she wants!
Earlier this year I went under the knife (shocked?!). For me, it was more a self-esteem issue rather than wanting to look better for other people. As a single gal, not even thirty years old, and a mother of two, I really just wanted to "reward" myself. It's something that I always wanted, especially after having my kids. Things change after having a baby-- NO MATTER how hard you work at keeping your body up to par (which I attempted to do)!!! It's inevitable! I don't regret anything that I did to my body, and after the improvement, I'd even like to have more work done (to be continued....).

My Little Performer

Last week I got a letter from Anderson's school letting me know that they would be having a Christmas Holiday Program at the beginning of December. I am so excited to see my little man perform. I've been hearing him sing Christmas songs around the house lately, but whenever I ask him if it's the song he's singing at his holiday program, he says no! Hmmm? The other night at dinner, I FINALLY got little man to open up and show us what he'll be performing. I got tears in my eyes as I heard his little voice belt out the words to "Up on the Rooftop" WITH MOTIONS! It just made me realize how much my baby boy is growing up. He'll be FOUR in no time! He is going to be quite the performer, if I may say so! He had no problem remembering the lyrics or the motions to go with it. It was adorable! Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

And please excuse his silly outfit! It was Friday night and we were veggin'!

Insecurities of Parenthood

When Aaron and I split up, I always told myself that I was swearing off relationships. It wasn't necessarily that I didn't want to TRY a relationship again, but rather I told myself that no one would ever be good enough for my kids-- that no one could ever love my kids enough to be "worthy" of my love. Sure it was probably arrogant thinking, but I just knew that being alone with my kids would be better than being with someone who couldn't love them like Aaron or I could. Then the fear became what if, on the off chance I did meet someone who I felt was good enough for my kids, my kids didn't like him? Or what if, by some cosmic chance, the stars aligned and I found "the one" and he loved my kids and they equally adored him?

My fear is, what if someday my "one" realizes that he got in over his head? What if he thinks my kids are insane? I worry that the normal day-to-day tantrums will be too much. Does he think my kids are misbehaved? Does he think these "normal" five year old 'tudes are horrible? Does he think I'm a bad parent? Will his family think my kids are terrible when they meet them?

I've always given myself a fair amount of credit for being a single mom. I like to think we've got it pretty much together at home. I like to think that my discipline is working (or at least a work in progress), and that my kids respect me. I like to think that my kids know how to treat other people, and that they use their manners even when I'm not around. Sure, we're a normal family. We have meltdowns (all three of us!). We make bad decisions. We say things we don't mean. We're human. But what if, to an outsider, that's too much?

The worst feeling in the world is to feel like you've failed as a parent...to think that someone sees your parenting as flawed. It's a horrible feeling to think that someone sees your children as something less than what you know they're capable of. It's a terrible feeling to think that someone you love doesn't love your children as much as you do. Loving someone, other than the father of my children, is scary. Is it even possible for someone, who didn't ask for these children, to love them like a biological parent does? I guess this is just one, of many, insecurities of single parenthood.

Blessings!

Heather, from H.Renee Photography, has outdone herself. I absolutely love this picture of my children. 

Why can't I...

So I've had my house for over a year and there are still TONS of things I want to do to it. One of the biggest things I want to do is replace the flooring in the kitchen, downstairs bathroom, and entry way. Of course, that's a $1800 project, so I don't see it in my very near future, but...part of the reason I want to change the kitchen is because it feels empty. We had friends over last weekend and Dan asked if we had JUST moved in because the house looked empty! LOL! (In my defense, he only walked from the front door, through the kitchen, and into the garage!) So right now I have a small two-seater table in the kitchen. We never use that table because we usually sit in the dining room, but it's still nice to have the extra seating. I'm really hoping to do something like this:

I've been asking JM to whip something together, but I don't see it happening in the near future either. Until then...I'll just keep hoping! I just wish I could make my house feel "complete". I really love my living room, my master bedroom (which I've still never posted pictures of), and both of my kids' rooms. Those are the rooms where we spend most of our time, of course...but it'd be nice to have the rest of the house finished. I know it's all a work in progress, and I've only been in the house a year, but....I'm a VERY impatient person! I want it done NOW!!!!!!

We're just THAT close!

I think JM got his first taste of just how close the Hahn bunch really is. Remember I've not been feeling well, so by 8pm I was ready for bed. I was asleep on the couch when JM got home around 8:15pm. He had brought home a couple little gifts for me, so I woke up long enough to accept them of course, but then fell right back to sleep. As JM was tucking me into bed (isn't he perfect?!), he pointed out that I had missed a call from mom earlier in the evening. I told him I was too tired to call her back and that I'd just talk to her in the morning. And then I was OUT.

Around 5:20 this morning I woke up to my darling son belting out the lyrics to Christina Perry's "Jar of Hearts" from his bedroom. JM and I laid in bed laughing hysterically for a minute before I fell asleep again!

Later, JM told me that my brother had called last night on the house phone after I was in bed. Apparently, Mom had called out the SWAT team since I failed to answer my phone and texts. JM explained to my brother that I hadn't been feeling well and that I had been asleep for over an hour at this point. My brother promised to call off Jane the troops and let her them know that I was safe!

I love my mom for being so concerned! That's just how we are....if one of us can't get ahold of each other, we call the other person to see if he/she has talked to them. We never "ignore" each other's calls or texts, so when we don't hear back from someone, we panic! I love my family and I'm so glad that we're as close as we are!

You Can't Rush Perfection

Patiently waiting on me...

So I write a lot  maybe too much about how amazing JM is, and how lucky I am to have met him. And I started to touch on this a couple days ago, but I never went completely into the story...I know I know, get to it already huh? Well, last weekend when we were kidless, JM and I both felt pretty miserable (not because we were kidless, but because we had terrible colds). I woke up Friday morning with a head full of..well ya know. And things just kept getting progressively worse as the weekend went on. Saturday I mustered up as much energy as I could to watch the Michigan game with my perfect boyfriend, but I kept getting up from the bar every five minutes to go blow my nose (pretty, I know). By the end of Saturday, I was D-U-N done! As soon as we got home from dinner that night, I was ready for bed. JM drugged me with cold meds and I was fast asleep by 9:30. Sunday morning proved to be just as torturous. I woke up at 8am, watched a few episodes of Friends, and then tuned into LMN until 2pm. During the four-hour movie on lmn, I whined to JM about my nose, my cough, my sore throat, and my hunger pains. He was soooo loving the whole time...running to get groceries, more cold meds, lunch, etc...all the while putting up with my pathetic moaning and groaning about my "terrrrrrrible cold" (which he also had!).

We've all heard and loathed the old saying that good things come to those who wait. Well, as cliche as it is, it's true. I never in my life thought I'd find someone as amazingly perfect as JM, but I met "the one" and I thank my lucky stars for him everyday!

I just love 'em!

I have the BEST work family EVER! We have become like sisters...we tell each other everything (way too much, at times!), we get mad at each other and then we're over it ten minutes later, and we just have a great time together. This is by far the best group of girls I've ever worked with! I'm so lucky to have met each and every one of them!

Whoopsy Daisy!

Although I'm not officially participating in Nablopomo 2011, I was hoping to blog everyday. Well, clearly I've failed at that more than once this month! Oh well! Tis life, right?! So I had a pretty fab-u-lous weekend!

Friday I took the day off to go Christmas shopping with Mom. Last year we decided to take a day off so to do our shopping so we didn't have to worry about doing it at a time when the kids were either with Aaron (ha!) or with a sitter (bigger ha!). So, we got up EAAARLY Friday morning (in fact, I got a text from my mom at 6:15am asking when we were leaving...ummm, AFTER 8am preferably!). We dropped the babies off at school, and headed to Kohls (mom had a 30% off, der!)! We then ventured to Old Navy and Target. Target was a HUGE success for me for the kids' gifts! I was SO excited! Then we had lunch at my FAVORITE place, Cebollas (YUM!), where we rechecked our shopping lists and came up with a plan for the remaining hours of our shopping trip! After a trip to the mall and Toys R Us, our day was coming to an end. Aaron would be at my house soon to get the kids for the weekend, and I still had tons of stuff to do before I picked them up from school.

Aaron decided about three weeks ago that he would come here for a weekend to spend time with the kids. Although he says it's a hassle for him (I don't doubt that it is, but that's not really my problem), he followed through on his plans and he and his brother arrived in Fort Wayne around 4:30 Friday afternoon. The three of us went to get the kids at school and then took Anderson to get a quick haircut before the four of them headed off for a weekend of fun! I went back home to relax (with a glass of wine) and wait on my darling boyfriend!
JM and I spent Friday night on the couch, catching up on DVR'ed shows, and just relaxing without kids. It. Was. So. Nice.

Saturday morning we slept in, relaxed on the couch for a few hours, and then headed out for lunch. We tried a place neither of us had been before! We went to Target for an impromptu shopping trip, got a few things for the house, and then drove around aimlessly until our afternoon plans of watching the Michigan at one of our favorite hangouts. After the game (Go blue!) we stopped for dinner at a little locally-owned pizza place, close to home. By this time it was close to 9pm and I was ready for bed! I'm pretty sure I was asleep by 9:30 that night! Eh, I needed it!

Sunday I spent the morning (okay, and part of the early afternoon) cuddled up on the couch watching a Lifetime Movie (seriously) and whining about my terrible cold (which I'm SURE JM gave me!). JM did a few things around the house before the kids got home. Around 4:30, the kids came home!!! I was SOOO happy to have them home. As much as I LOVE the alone time with JM, I just need to have the kids home in order to feel "normal" again. JM and Aaron met for the first time. It went really well (not that I was too worried...how could anyone NOT love JM!?). I got a text from Aaron a couple hours later saying that he was really glad that he got to meet JM and that he really seemed like a nice guy.

It was a VERY enjoyable, relaxing weekend, but I'm glad to be back to the normal routine of life this morning. Happy Monday!

She's My Girl!

Lilly has been AH-MAAAAAY-ZING lately! She has been SO helpful, SO pleasant, and SUCH a delight to be around, which isn't always the case with a five year old! I don't know if something has changed in her little growing mind, or if this is just the start to a better behaved, more settled little lady. Either way, I'll take it! I'm so proud of her and just love her to pieces! She's so adorable and such a blessing to my life. I cannot imagine life without my little Lills.

*even if she does have her daddy's eyes!

"Breakfast with us?"

JM is AMAZING for so many reasons, but one of my favorite things about him is that he takes the time to have breakfast with my kids in the morning before he leaves for work. I've mentioned before that he has a two hour drive to whichever campus he's working at for the day, so he usually leaves the house around 6:30am, but some days he squeezes in a few extra minutes to have breakfast with the babies. They are always SO excited to be hanging out with him before he leaves for the day, and I'm excited to be able to shower and get ready without trying to break up early morning sibling feuds!

This morning I stood on the stairs listening to the three of them chat over their bowls of Captain Crunch...It just made me feel extremely blessed to have such an incredible person in my life who my kids love. It truly is the little things in life that mean the most.

Andersonisms

Anderson has been quite the fountain of information lately. Let me just fill you in on a few Andersonisms that we've heard over the past few weeks.

Q: Do you know why there are stars in the sky?
A: Because it's dark.

Q: Do you know why your tongue is wet?
A: Because it's in your mouth for so long.

Q: Do you know how God makes the sky?
A: With a sky machine with sky buttons.

There are more, but these are just the few I can think of off the top of my head. He reminds me of the little boy from Jerry McGuire. So full of VERY important information, that boy!

Boobs and Poopy

This weekend my kids thought it would be hilarious to add a couple words to their once-innocent vocabulary. Boobs and poopy. First off, let me say, I never really baby talked to my kids. Aaron and I found it repulsive to hear such ridiculousness come from new parents' mouths. All that cutesy baby talk makes me wanna vomit. It's unnecessary and to be quite honest, I feel that by talking to our children as humans, rather than adorable zoo animals, we have actually improved their vocabulary and their comprehension...until now. So we never baby talked to our kids, but perhaps sometimes we should have been more selective with what we talked about and showed them. We never shut the bathroom door at our house-- ever. It's not unusual to be having a conversation with someone who's showering, while the other person is sitting on the toilet. I mean, we all lead a busy life-- we squeeze in conversations whenever possible, right? And since it's usually just me and the kids at home, we all get ready in my bedroom in the mornings. Well, looks like that may have to change soon.
Saturday morning I was getting dressed. I had clothes on, but just jeans and a tank, not a shirt yet, as I was still finishing my normal morning routine. Anderson comes in my bathroom and says "I see your boobs!" and then runs away, laughing hysterically. Two minutes later, Lilly comes in and does the same thing. I was annoyed! I can't have my children talking about my boobs! Later that day, it was the same thing, but with the word poopy instead of boobs. Again, not something I want my kids running around talking about. Oy!
Here's to hoping they don't use those words at school today.

Oh to be a fly on the wall...

I'm just now getting around to writing this, but I have to share the conversation the kids and I had first thing Tuesday morning. It went something like this:

Lilly: Mom! It's November today!
Me: Yep!
Lilly: What happens in November? Referring to what holidays are in November.
Me: Just Thanksgiving.
Lilly (screaming): NO! I HATE TURKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Well, sometimes we have ham at Thanksgiving too. You like ham!
Lilly: Uncle Adam said he's not having ham at his house.
Me: Well, should we just cancel Thanksgiving then?
Lilly (still on the verge of tears): Yes!
Me (in my practiced announcer voice): I HEREBY DECLARE, THANKSGIVING OF 2011 IS OFFICIALLY CANCELED!
Enter Anderson, just waking up, hair all amuck, eyes barely open.
Anderson (crying): Buuuuut IIIIIIII LOOOOOVE Thanksgivinnnnnnnggggggg. (Imagine the worst whining sound ever.)
Me: Anderson! I was just kidding! I can't really cancel Thanksgiving.
Lilly (now in hysterics): But I hate turkey!
HAPPY NOVEMBER YA'LL!

Shamu + Hahn/Scudders= True Love

Last weekend, the kids and I took a mini-vacay! It was exactly what we all needed! I'll let the pictures tell all...!

Thank you Uncle G for taking us swimming!

First night: Dinner with my favorite uncles!!

Waiting for Shamu!

*I cannot believe Lilly actually went on this ride and L-O-V-E-D it!!!! Look how happy they are!!! Thanks G!*

First Attempt

Here's my first attempt at a Gluten free product! I have been reading a lot about the gluten free lifestyle, not because it's trendy, but because I really think JM has a gluten allergy. Although he completely disagrees (mostly because he's done zero research on it), I am convinced that taking steps toward becoming a gluten-free household is a good decision for all of us. A basic description: Gluten is a protein that lives in wheat and rye, and for people who have gluten allergies, it can cause difficulty digesting gluten, thus the need for a gluten-free diet. Regardless, going gluten-free can only be an improvement to our diets. I've been looking at GF products, and although they're still a bit pricey, in the long run, I feel it'd be beneficial to us. Today I tried a GF dressing on my salad (everything in my salad is already GF). The dressing was super strong, but had I used even a forth of what I used, it would have been perfect.

O-V-E-R IT!

This precious little golf game WILL be the demise of my almost perfect relationship.

Hallowoo-hoo!

I dislike Halloween SO much that I would do just about anything to avoid the whole thing altogether. As much fun as it seeing my little punkins all dressed up and eager to candy-hunt in the neighborhood, I could literally forget the whole day completely and not feel an ounce of remorse. The holiday is satanic, dark, scary, and well, just plain dumb. Even my kids weren't that into it. We hadn't even made it across the street before the complaining started. "It's so cold." "My feet hurt." "My hair is falling off!" Thirty minutes and a half block later, we found our way back to our house where we handed out candy to the happy trick-or-treaters for the rest of the night!