I'm a self-proclaimed control freak. I am also very much a creature of habit. I absolutely freak at the idea of change and I slightly panic when things are out of whack. But I'm starting to learn that sometimes change can be a good thing, and taking a giant leap of faith is sometimes okay.
For most of my adult life, and especially since I've become a mom, I've relied heavily on my mom and even my brother. I've counted on them to carry me through tough times. I've counted on them to pick me up when I fall. I've counted on them to guide me through the dark times and through the crooked streets of life. I've looked to them as examples on how to do things the "right" way...how to be strong and independent...how to stand up to adversity and come out a changed and better person.
Today I broke some big news to my mom...some news that is bound to change things, in my opinion, for the better. With the excitement in telling her also came the realization that things won't be the same as they've been for the past seven years. For me, it's a chance for me to take hold of my life and to take my family in a new direction. I'm excited to see where things are headed for me and the kids, but scared to think of how things will change the familiarity of my core family. My mom, brother, and I have always been so close and adding someone new to the mix will definitely change things, but I'm ready to do this...for me and for the kids. I know that I deserve this, and even more so I know that my kids deserve it too.
....stay tuned y'all!
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Birthday Perfection, Y'all!
My thirty-first birthday was absolutely perfect! The kids and my mom celebrated with me a few days early since my mom wouldn't be able to be up here on my actual birthday! The kids gave me a couple presents, which I loved, and of course we all went to lunch!
My actual birthday started out much like most other mornings with the kids jumping in bed with me and groaning about having to go to school! After I quickly reminded them of the enormity of the day's event (hello, your mother was born this day 31 years ago!), they both sang many renditions of the "Happy Birthday" song, until I finally begged them to stop! (Don't get me wrong, it was cute the first 3498 times!)
My dear work family made the day special too! My darling friend Sally brought me an "office survival kit" which included Sharpies, post-its, candy, snacks, and other things. You know you have a good friend when she knows exactly what color of Sharpies to bring you (Valley Girl Violet and Leg Warmer Orange)! Thank you Sal! Then my friend Lori brought me another goodie bag with more candy (notice a trend?), a picture frame, and a super cute scarf (cannot wait to wear it!)! THEN....imagine my surprise when a super handsome man came strolling in, cake and balloons in hand! Holy. Cow.
We ended the day with our normal Wednesday routine- ballet and dinner! It was the best birthday EVER and I feel RIDICULOUSLY blessed to have so many awesome people in my life! Love love love love!
My actual birthday started out much like most other mornings with the kids jumping in bed with me and groaning about having to go to school! After I quickly reminded them of the enormity of the day's event (hello, your mother was born this day 31 years ago!), they both sang many renditions of the "Happy Birthday" song, until I finally begged them to stop! (Don't get me wrong, it was cute the first 3498 times!)
My dear work family made the day special too! My darling friend Sally brought me an "office survival kit" which included Sharpies, post-its, candy, snacks, and other things. You know you have a good friend when she knows exactly what color of Sharpies to bring you (Valley Girl Violet and Leg Warmer Orange)! Thank you Sal! Then my friend Lori brought me another goodie bag with more candy (notice a trend?), a picture frame, and a super cute scarf (cannot wait to wear it!)! THEN....imagine my surprise when a super handsome man came strolling in, cake and balloons in hand! Holy. Cow.
We ended the day with our normal Wednesday routine- ballet and dinner! It was the best birthday EVER and I feel RIDICULOUSLY blessed to have so many awesome people in my life! Love love love love!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Belly Button, DUH!
Morning conversation went something like this today:
Lilly: Mom, I know that you were fat before. But it was because you had a baby in your belly.
me: Well, I wasn't FAT Lilly, I was pregnant! But yes, what about it?
Lilly: I was just wondering if you could feel us inside of your belly?
me: I could feel you moving around. Anderson always pushed his hands and feet against my stomach. Daddy and I could see his hands and feet sometimes! both kids were extremely amused by this!
Anderson: Did I hurt you when I kicked you and punched you?
me: Anderson?! Is that what you were doing?! Daddy always told me you were just stretching out! kids are laughing hysterically about the thought of Anderson punching and kicking my insides!
Lilly: Mom? How do babies come out of their mom's belly?
uuuuuuuuuuuugh...............................................
me: Their BELLY BUTTON, duh! How about this weather, ya'll?! eeeeeeek!
Lilly: Mom, I know that you were fat before. But it was because you had a baby in your belly.
me: Well, I wasn't FAT Lilly, I was pregnant! But yes, what about it?
Lilly: I was just wondering if you could feel us inside of your belly?
me: I could feel you moving around. Anderson always pushed his hands and feet against my stomach. Daddy and I could see his hands and feet sometimes! both kids were extremely amused by this!
Anderson: Did I hurt you when I kicked you and punched you?
me: Anderson?! Is that what you were doing?! Daddy always told me you were just stretching out! kids are laughing hysterically about the thought of Anderson punching and kicking my insides!
Lilly: Mom? How do babies come out of their mom's belly?
uuuuuuuuuuuugh...............................................
me: Their BELLY BUTTON, duh! How about this weather, ya'll?! eeeeeeek!
Friday, January 11, 2013
Perspective
It's been a minute since I posted anything, which is weird because I feel like I always have so much to say. I literally go through my days thinking "oh I should write about that" or "that would be a great title for my next post!" Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about the coming year. We started a new series at church last week titled "Perspectives" and I'm super excited about it. But with that excitement comes the reality that things are going to change, both outwardly and within myself. I'm excited, but I'm scared. Or maybe more so intimidated.
So like I was saying...I continue to realize things about about myself that I maybe never really acknowledged until recently. It's interesting because I wrote back in March about things that I was hopeful for in my next relationship...things that I wanted in life, in a partner, for myself and my kids. I wrote here about how I felt a calling to be something more than "just" a mom. I finally felt like I wanted to "do life" with someone. Ya'll know how much I always prided myself on being so independent (exhausting). I thought about the type of person that I wanted to go through life with...but even still, I was a little scared to admit all those things because I felt like I was so far off from "that" person that I wondered why God would bring someone like that into my life. I don't want to say that I am undeserving, but yeah that's how I felt.
I have people in my life who don't think I'm deserving too. There are people who call me a phony. People who question why I'd want to take this leap of faith. People who doubt my relationship. People who aren't "on board" with my choices. Honestly for the first time in my whole adult life, I just don't care anymore. I am tired of worrying about how other people will accept me. I'm done worrying how my relationship fits into someone else's life. I'm done worrying that my relationship will offend someone. I'm done wondering if my relationship will be awkward for someone else. I'm done doubting myself and I'm done letting other people control my choices. I'm done allowing people who don't add positivity to my life to control me from afar, manipulate my decisions, and place doubt in my mind.
I'm positive that my choices are the best ones for me and my kids. I'm confident that I am putting my kids before everything else. I have to trust that God has prepared my heart and the kids' hearts for the coming months. I trust that whatever changes occur this year God is directing us, leading us, and most importantly He has His hand on everything.
So like I was saying...I continue to realize things about about myself that I maybe never really acknowledged until recently. It's interesting because I wrote back in March about things that I was hopeful for in my next relationship...things that I wanted in life, in a partner, for myself and my kids. I wrote here about how I felt a calling to be something more than "just" a mom. I finally felt like I wanted to "do life" with someone. Ya'll know how much I always prided myself on being so independent (exhausting). I thought about the type of person that I wanted to go through life with...but even still, I was a little scared to admit all those things because I felt like I was so far off from "that" person that I wondered why God would bring someone like that into my life. I don't want to say that I am undeserving, but yeah that's how I felt.
I have people in my life who don't think I'm deserving too. There are people who call me a phony. People who question why I'd want to take this leap of faith. People who doubt my relationship. People who aren't "on board" with my choices. Honestly for the first time in my whole adult life, I just don't care anymore. I am tired of worrying about how other people will accept me. I'm done worrying how my relationship fits into someone else's life. I'm done worrying that my relationship will offend someone. I'm done wondering if my relationship will be awkward for someone else. I'm done doubting myself and I'm done letting other people control my choices. I'm done allowing people who don't add positivity to my life to control me from afar, manipulate my decisions, and place doubt in my mind.
I'm positive that my choices are the best ones for me and my kids. I'm confident that I am putting my kids before everything else. I have to trust that God has prepared my heart and the kids' hearts for the coming months. I trust that whatever changes occur this year God is directing us, leading us, and most importantly He has His hand on everything.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2013
Holy moly I cannot believe that it's already 2013! There was a time when I wondered if 2012 would ever end! The end of 2012 turned out to be INCREDIBLE and I am so excited to start this new year! Here's a quick look back...
January: My 30th birthday turned out to be pretty incredible thanks to my girls! I was SO excited to turn thirty! For whatever reason I thought turning thirty would change my life! haha! Well, I guess in some ways it did...and still is!
February: I went on my first cruise! My brother took me to the Bahamas to help me get away from life for a few days and to celebrate my thirtieth! It was absolutely wonderful! Although the weather was a little chilly, it was so much fun to go away with my brother! I can't wait to do it again!
March: My precious baby boy got baptized! This may be my top memory of 2012! It was also this month that I had an epiphany about the "type of person" I was becoming (or maybe always had been?). It was this month that I admitted aloud (errr, on my blog) that I felt a calling to be something more than just a mom. I addressed that feeling that had been tugging at my insides...that feeling that I wanted to "do life" with someone. I wrote about it here.
April: Easter is always one of my most favorite times of the year, and this year was no exception! I just love getting the kids dressed up and spending the Sunday with my family! There's nothing better!
May: My sweet little girl turned SIX! We had a fun little party at home and just celebrated our fabulous little Lills!
June: We took our first big road trip with my kids, my cousin, and her kids. Four kids in the car for five hours actually turned out to be a lot of fun! Later in the month my cousin and I took a much-needed kidless vacation to Florida! It was SO much fun and I CANNOT WAIT to go back this year!
July: What a hottttttttttttt month! Whew!
August: My Lilly started first grade and my baby boy started Junior Kindergarten. Ridiculous how quickly my kids are growing.
September: Anderson had his first major accident...this was a big deal in our house as we had never had something like this happen!! He ended up being totally fine, but it was scary to take the little guy in to the doctor for a gash in his head!
October: This was an awesome month for me professionally!
November: I had dinner with a few old friends from high school...life changing dinner! It's always nice to catch up with old friends, but to top it off I started talking to the most incredible man EVER!
December: We finished the year off with a bang! We had a great Christmas with family and the kids got to spend some time with their Dad.
Overall I was pumped to ring in the new year but even more than that, I am so excited for big things that are going to happen in 2013! Here's to another year of blogging!
January: My 30th birthday turned out to be pretty incredible thanks to my girls! I was SO excited to turn thirty! For whatever reason I thought turning thirty would change my life! haha! Well, I guess in some ways it did...and still is!
February: I went on my first cruise! My brother took me to the Bahamas to help me get away from life for a few days and to celebrate my thirtieth! It was absolutely wonderful! Although the weather was a little chilly, it was so much fun to go away with my brother! I can't wait to do it again!
March: My precious baby boy got baptized! This may be my top memory of 2012! It was also this month that I had an epiphany about the "type of person" I was becoming (or maybe always had been?). It was this month that I admitted aloud (errr, on my blog) that I felt a calling to be something more than just a mom. I addressed that feeling that had been tugging at my insides...that feeling that I wanted to "do life" with someone. I wrote about it here.
April: Easter is always one of my most favorite times of the year, and this year was no exception! I just love getting the kids dressed up and spending the Sunday with my family! There's nothing better!
May: My sweet little girl turned SIX! We had a fun little party at home and just celebrated our fabulous little Lills!
June: We took our first big road trip with my kids, my cousin, and her kids. Four kids in the car for five hours actually turned out to be a lot of fun! Later in the month my cousin and I took a much-needed kidless vacation to Florida! It was SO much fun and I CANNOT WAIT to go back this year!
July: What a hottttttttttttt month! Whew!
August: My Lilly started first grade and my baby boy started Junior Kindergarten. Ridiculous how quickly my kids are growing.
September: Anderson had his first major accident...this was a big deal in our house as we had never had something like this happen!! He ended up being totally fine, but it was scary to take the little guy in to the doctor for a gash in his head!
October: This was an awesome month for me professionally!
November: I had dinner with a few old friends from high school...life changing dinner! It's always nice to catch up with old friends, but to top it off I started talking to the most incredible man EVER!
December: We finished the year off with a bang! We had a great Christmas with family and the kids got to spend some time with their Dad.
Overall I was pumped to ring in the new year but even more than that, I am so excited for big things that are going to happen in 2013! Here's to another year of blogging!
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