Have you ever watched those sappy movies about one spouse who dies but leaves handwritten notes for the living spouse? Or once the person dies, the other person pulls out old home movies to remember their spouse by? Okay so that's super morbid I get that, but it kinda makes me think...should I be doing that? The thought of writing my daughter a note for her when she graduates, out of fear that I may not be there to watch her graduate, makes my stomach do some unflattering flips. And it's probably even more grotesque of me to openly admit that I have these thoughts...but seriously, does anyone else do this? I was thinking though...when was the last time I hand wrote a note to anyone, let alone wrote a note to someone intended for the future? And what if the intention wasn't to write a note because I'm worried that I won't be here, but rather because I just want my kids (or my hubby) to know where I was (mentally) in different seasons of our lives? Makes it a little less creepy, right?
I also think that I need to start printing out more pictures. If anything happened to my phone, I would be so out of luck. I rarely take pictures on my camera now since I rely so heavily on my phone! I have a few friends who have recommended different sites to print Instagram pics from, and I think I'm going to give it a whirl! Not to mention, who doesn't love looking through photo albums every once in awhile?
Yeah, I think this is going to be my next project (ya know, after the wedding that we're planning and all!)!!!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Preparation for Marriage
I am totally pumped to get married. Like, the idea of spending FOREVER with Charlie makes me want to PEE. MY. PANTS! I CANNOT wait! With all major life changes, I have to admit that there have been moments of fear...times when I look around and think "what am I getting myself into?" Or I hear about ANOTHER couple getting a divorce and its like a giant slap on the back of the head, reminding me of the brutal divorce rate statistics (50% for first marriages...and it even jumps to well over 65% for second marriages, eeek). I know that there are some statistical odds stacked against as it is (this is his second marriage, I have two kids, etc), but I can't help but think Charlie and I are taking pretty extreme measures to work through these things before we're married.
We had our first premarital counseling session with our pastor a couple weeks ago. It was a little nerve-racking, only because this was the first time he and I brought someone else into our relationship to discuss some very private and personal topics. Although Charlie and I discussed these things, having to explain to someone else how we got to this point in each of our lives was a little tough. It was tough, but it wasn't impossible and it wasn't as painful since we knew we had each other's back and that we were there for each other no matter what. Our pastor gave us each a book to read through before we meet with him again. It's called "Things I wish I'd Known Before We Got Married." It's written by the same fella who wrote "The Five Love Languages" (another thing I'd recommend learning about yourself and your spouse before getting married). In the book that our pastor gave us, it gives different topics that people have cited as "issues" in their marriage. It's been nice working through this book on my own and then talking about it with Charlie. I definitely know there will be tough times, but I also know that he and I will work through our issues and never give up. We ended the session by walking our pastor to the door and then doing a celebratory "oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah" dance and high-fiving after we closed the door!
It's so comforting to know that no matter what my past is, no matter what mistakes I've made, no matter how backwards some aspects of my life may seem, I am who I am because of each of those things and it brought me to the most incredible man ever...a man who sees me for who I am now (good and bad) and loves me through it all. My fear is that someone will mistaken my "fears" mentioned in the first paragraph and think that Charlie and I aren't strong enough to get married or that I have doubts about marrying him. That's not the case. My hope is that someone else will read this and know that being engaged (and I'm assuming married) is an exciting time in your life, but it can also be a scary time. Add to that the fact that not many people talk (honestly) about their fears before getting married, and you may be left thinking that your feelings are abnormal. Don't be fooled. I have enough good friends who can be real with me and admit that there will be crummy days...days when you become so annoyed you want to flick your husband...days when you don't want to talk to each other...days when you get a little nervous about changing the whole routine that you've worked so hard to (single-handedly) make successful...days when you fear that bringing a man into your perfect triangle will disrupt the lives of your precious babies...days when you question your future. But, through it all the one constant thing that you cling to is that you are moved to the core when you say his name, feel his touch, or see his face. The reality that you cannot imagine life without this person. The understanding that because of him, your children will have a better life, they will know true love, and they will see what it means when someone loves their mom the right way. I am so excited to start this next chapter in my life...with the man I prayed to God for.
We had our first premarital counseling session with our pastor a couple weeks ago. It was a little nerve-racking, only because this was the first time he and I brought someone else into our relationship to discuss some very private and personal topics. Although Charlie and I discussed these things, having to explain to someone else how we got to this point in each of our lives was a little tough. It was tough, but it wasn't impossible and it wasn't as painful since we knew we had each other's back and that we were there for each other no matter what. Our pastor gave us each a book to read through before we meet with him again. It's called "Things I wish I'd Known Before We Got Married." It's written by the same fella who wrote "The Five Love Languages" (another thing I'd recommend learning about yourself and your spouse before getting married). In the book that our pastor gave us, it gives different topics that people have cited as "issues" in their marriage. It's been nice working through this book on my own and then talking about it with Charlie. I definitely know there will be tough times, but I also know that he and I will work through our issues and never give up. We ended the session by walking our pastor to the door and then doing a celebratory "oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah" dance and high-fiving after we closed the door!
It's so comforting to know that no matter what my past is, no matter what mistakes I've made, no matter how backwards some aspects of my life may seem, I am who I am because of each of those things and it brought me to the most incredible man ever...a man who sees me for who I am now (good and bad) and loves me through it all. My fear is that someone will mistaken my "fears" mentioned in the first paragraph and think that Charlie and I aren't strong enough to get married or that I have doubts about marrying him. That's not the case. My hope is that someone else will read this and know that being engaged (and I'm assuming married) is an exciting time in your life, but it can also be a scary time. Add to that the fact that not many people talk (honestly) about their fears before getting married, and you may be left thinking that your feelings are abnormal. Don't be fooled. I have enough good friends who can be real with me and admit that there will be crummy days...days when you become so annoyed you want to flick your husband...days when you don't want to talk to each other...days when you get a little nervous about changing the whole routine that you've worked so hard to (single-handedly) make successful...days when you fear that bringing a man into your perfect triangle will disrupt the lives of your precious babies...days when you question your future. But, through it all the one constant thing that you cling to is that you are moved to the core when you say his name, feel his touch, or see his face. The reality that you cannot imagine life without this person. The understanding that because of him, your children will have a better life, they will know true love, and they will see what it means when someone loves their mom the right way. I am so excited to start this next chapter in my life...with the man I prayed to God for.
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