Friday, October 19, 2007

Pregnancy Woes

Just a word to the wise...these are things you DON'T say to a pregnant girl. I'd suggest, in fact, that you stear clear of anything even remotely CLOSE to these following statements:

1. "Wow, you're really getting big!"
Yeah, NO SHIT! You try carrying around a 6 or 7 lb. load and see how hot YOU look. Asshole.

2. "You can really tell in your face!"
As opposed to my ass? Yeah, since I can't cover my face like I can my stomach I thought I'd request all the extra weight to go to my face so that everyone would notice the twelve pounds I've gained in the last week. Dickhead!

3. "He'll come when he's ready."
OH SO HELP ME GOD....If I hear that ONE more time. He's not even BORN yet, how the hell does HE know when she's suppose to come out? It's not like he just pulls a string and ZIP, down he goes! C'mon!

4. "How are you feeling?"
Are you freakin' KIDDING me? How does it LOOK like I'm feeling. I can't stand longer than two minutes without my fat legs hurting, I can't sit for longer than three minutes without my BACK hurting, and I can only lay on my LEFT side...So if you wanna know the truth, I feel like punching this shit out of you...then perhaps the swelling in my hand might be accounted for!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Another mess of randomness!

A blog is not intended as an outlet to degrade your children. Sure, we all have our moments of temporary insanity where we feel the need to lash out at people, and figure the best way to do so is by writing a blog, however, as a PARENT, perhaps you could find a BETTER way to complain about how horrible your children are towards you. If you don't like how things are between you and your children, then try to change it rather than bitch constantly about how USED you feel.

With that said....

1.) Had a fabulous lunch yesterday catching up with old friends. It's wonderful to meet up monthly and talk about how amazing it is being a parent, yet still throwing in old memories from middle school!

2.) Brother is a selfish brat. I want an iPhone too! Must be nice to have such a wonderful boyfriend who'd do anything for you....Oh wait, I have one of those, but he wouldn't waste money on an iPhone for me! BOO TO YOU!

3.) Weird weekend. Hormones were WACKED out Saturday. Mom and I went shopping for WAY too long with the little tyke. Mom's Christmas shopping, however, is that much closer to being completed--- WOOT WOOT MAMA!

4.) Need to be more like Mom....start Christmas shopping before the masses get even MORE insane.

5.) Looking forward to Halloween this year, oddly enough. Typically hate the "holiday" but just found out that Chloe and Lilly are BOTH going to be skunks...ADORABLE! Can't wait to take a million pictures of the little ladies!

6.) I miss Tiffany! :(

7.) Randomness of this blog is annoying me. Signing off now! Toodles!