Just a word to the wise...these are things you DON'T say to a pregnant girl. I'd suggest, in fact, that you stear clear of anything even remotely CLOSE to these following statements:
1. "Wow, you're really getting big!"
Yeah, NO SHIT! You try carrying around a 6 or 7 lb. load and see how hot YOU look. Asshole.
2. "You can really tell in your face!"
As opposed to my ass? Yeah, since I can't cover my face like I can my stomach I thought I'd request all the extra weight to go to my face so that everyone would notice the twelve pounds I've gained in the last week. Dickhead!
3. "He'll come when he's ready."
OH SO HELP ME GOD....If I hear that ONE more time. He's not even BORN yet, how the hell does HE know when she's suppose to come out? It's not like he just pulls a string and ZIP, down he goes! C'mon!
4. "How are you feeling?"
Are you freakin' KIDDING me? How does it LOOK like I'm feeling. I can't stand longer than two minutes without my fat legs hurting, I can't sit for longer than three minutes without my BACK hurting, and I can only lay on my LEFT side...So if you wanna know the truth, I feel like punching this shit out of you...then perhaps the swelling in my hand might be accounted for!
2 comments:
my sister always loved when complete strangers felt compelled to rub her belly, like it was public pregnant property. ugh. people are so stupid.
hey, at least they aren't asking "are you sure you're not having twins!"
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