A Letter To The Enemy

Dear Illness,

Well, it looks as though you are planning to stick around in my body for awhile. And while I'd like to say your visit is welcomed, it is not. It's not enough that you've violated me, you've also managed to infest my poor children and my brother. We've had enough of your contamination. Leave us be.
My throat hurts worse than the aftermath of childbirth. My nose is clogged worse than my shower drain. And your existence is leaving my entire body aching. Go away.
What would your mother think, you harming a nice young lady and her family? Your interruption to my life is much like Kanye's interference in dear Taylor's acceptance speech. Annoying and unnecessary.
Have you no cooth? Why me? Why must you pollute my pure (eeehhh) body?

I have come up with a solution. You will pay me rent. For every day you stick around, you will deduct at least two pounds of my body fat. If you fail to do so, I will begin the vitamin c regiments immediately. There will be no grace period. I will start taking back control of my body. That's right, even if it means I have to work out, drink water, and take vitamins...I'll do it, Disease. You will no longer live off my healthy parts.

Please know that by resuming residency in my body you accept all responsibilities of the aforementioned agreement.


Angry, upset, and over it,
Gretchen