The thought of the words "soul mate" makes my head spin and makes me wanna puke a little. For people to really believe that there is one person in this giant universe that we are meant to meet and spend forever with is just asinine. With Valentine's day quickly approaching, I felt a gut-wrenching,tough-love blog was appropriate. (You're welcome!)
After last week's episode of The Bachelor, I can't help but feel sorry for these ladies who use that disastrous word and really expect to be married at the end of the process. In their defense, at least the girls on the Bachelor are putting on a show...but what about real life women who act this way? What is it about relationships that women are SO obsessed with? And why is it that women can't just walk away from failed relationships with grace and pride? In the real world, relationships end, feelings fizzle, and hearts get broken...but luckily, we aren't on television for the entire world to see. Breaking up is hard to do, but it's all about our own perception of the situation-- were we REALLY that compatible to begin with? Was I REALLY that happy? Was the situation REALLY right? And am I mature enough to admit when things aren't working and move on? I'd like to say that personally I'm at a great spot with myself...I can rise above these types of road blocks and at the end of it I'll still be happy and alright with myself and my situation. Perhaps women should spend less time focusing on the final goal (marriage?) and pay more attention to the relationship when they're IN it.
It is better to travel alone than with a bad companion. - Unknown
The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. - Mark Twain
1 comment:
AMEN! I think its women with tunnel vision, they are so focused on what is at the end of the tunnel that they really aren't evaluating the path to get them to the end of the tunnel, the big picture. I also strongly believe this is a large contributor to high divorce rates among many other things. First and foremost you need to be happy with you, then when you get that down, find what makes you happy with someone else, focus on the relationship not the party/wedding or trying so desperately to make someone their “soul mate”. The wedding ends and then you are left with the marriage, the forever after. Bottom line if you are so focused on the fairytale with smoky mirrors or rose colored glasses you are in for a rude awakening. Don't get me wrong, I envy those who believe they have found their "soul mate" and are genuinely happy, that is a euphoria we all wish we had, but for me I can't with a clear conscious force a square peg in a round hole. I would much rather be alone and happy then trying to let on that I am in a fairytale relationship that I am not or even more, constantly wasting time searching for this said “soul mate”, potentially missing several other great potential partners.
For those that say they have their soul mate, I would be interested to know or understand the answer to the following: How do you know they are your "soul mate"? How do they differ from just another relationship, what sets them aside as your "soul mate".
Maybe it’s a rhetorical question, but in case there are real answers to the above that someone can explain to me, then maybe they should/could share it for all of us that are not so convinced and then we/they can be looking for those characteristics. Until I have those answers I will continue to be grounded/realistic and search for happiness, with myself and hopefully someday with a partner and forget about wasting time searching for a "soul mate".
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