The idea of packing up my kids, quitting my job, and leaving the country may or may not have crossed my mind last night. Lilly was invited to a Halloween party and, although she had been invited places in the past from other friends, this was the first time I actually considered letting her go. Sure she's had sleepovers with my cousin, my mom, and my brothers (and of course spends a week away from me when she goes to her dad's), but...this was different. Yes, I LOST MY CRAP but it was only because I'm not ready for her to go somewhere without me. I kept telling Aaron that she's just a baby. He kept telling me to think logically. I assured him I WAS thinking logically- this was our only daughter, our first born, our precious little angel baby. What more was there to think about? The thought of her riding in someone else's car freaked me out. The thought of her being at a dark Halloween party without me freaked me out. The thought of someone else not watching her and paying attention to her and knowing her mood like me freaked me out. (Writing that I realize that perhaps I should focus more of my attention on the fact that every little thing freaks me out!) Let me say that we haven't met this family, sure she's a guidance counselor at the elementary school...and yes they live in the addition across the street from us, but still....! This was the first time my teeny tiny little baby girl was going to be going somewhere with a friend, who wasn't related to us.
After a few emails between Ava's mom and I, I feel better about it all, but still I'm having a tough time wrapping my mind around the fact that Lilly is growing up. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I just feel like before we know it she'll be having sleepovers, then going to football games, and driving, and going off to college, and....whoa!!! Overload.
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