One wasted day is just that-- a waste. I think after you go through some tough times, you come out with a different approach. Aaron and I were together for many years, and were engaged for over half of our relationship. I think we both always knew deep down that we'd never get married, but we pushed through...and made each other miserable. At that point I couldn't imagine being a parent on my own, which was a huge motivation for me staying with Aaron. Fast forward many years later and here I am, on my own now for the past four-ish years and going strong (tooot toooot!).
With JM I vowed that I'd never waste one single day on someone if I knew deep down it wasn't going to work, and I asked for that in return with anyone that I dated. I remember JM telling me that as much as he didn't want this (to break up) that if it didn't happen now it would happen six months from now. As much as I loved him and hated to see it end, I had to respect his decision to not waste six months more. I think once you add kids to the mix, even if they've never met your significant other, you just don't have the time or energy to waste with someone that you know you're not going to be with forever. Any time that I spend away from my kids better be worth it, you know? I can't justify being away from them for any length of time if it's all for nothing.
I have no doubt that my life is somewhat overwhelming and intimidating, and I absolutely KNOW that I'm exhausting to be with!!! But I know what I want. I want the best for myself and for my kids. I know it's no guy's DREAM to be with a girl with two kids, but I'm also not pessimistic enough to think that it can't happen! Until then....
2 comments:
I commented a long time ago, that we had some of the same things happen in our past. And ive continued to read your blog, this post really hit home with me. I always look forward to your words of wisdom, sometimes they are just what I need to be reminded that life is good regardless!
It takes years of experience and many soul searching nights to come to this point. I have always been and will always be proud of you.
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