He Chose ME

I think a lot about my kids. And how they're all mine. And how everything I do, impacts them. I like to think that every choice I make comes after considering how it will affect them. Sure sometimes I make mistakes...some minor, some not so minor. Regardless, my babies love me. Probably because they're so young, and I don't doubt that eventually they will hate me (or at least feel like they hate me) because that's what kids do. No matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be a perfect parent. I'll screw up the words to a song, or I'll make breakfast wrong, or I'll tuck them in too tight. I'll get mad over little things and I'll use hurtful words, and I'll take out my frustrations on my precious babies, even when they don't deserve it. Because I'm not perfect.

Something that I'm really trying to remind myself, over and over, is that I was chosen to raise my Lilly and my Anderson. God chose me. He knew that I could handle it. He knew that even through all the mistakes, all the frustrations, all the good and the bad, I'd be able to raise these two kids. How. Humbling. Is. That?
When my daughter has difficult days and tests my patience, I need to remind myself that I was the chosen one. That she and I were paired up for a reason. That we were hand-picked to be together. Even after the really hard days, the days where my abilities as a parent are challenged, I have to remind myself that there's a reason for it all. There's a reason that I'm parenting without a partner. I know I'm never alone...not just figuratively speaking. I know I always have help...be it my mom, Aaron, my brothers, my cousin, etc...I am never alone. But even beyond all that, I have my God, guiding me, protecting me, trusting me, and helping me. He is with Lilly, even on the really tough days, working her through this phase (God, please let it be a phase!). We're going to get through it. He chose me.