It's A Wrap!

As 2011 comes to a close, I can't help but reflect on the AH-MAY-ZING year it's been! Here's how it all went down...

January: I spent my 29th birthday in Chicago with my brothers! Their friend Andrea was kind enough to watch my kiddies, so that the guys and I could go downtown to Kinzie Chophouse for dinner. Dinner was delicious and it was SO nice to spend time with A and G for the night! It was BY FAR, the best birthday I've ever had! My brothers are so amazing!!!

February: I took a major self-inventory and realized that the way I was living was... hard...because I was MAKING it hard. I learned to finally put into practice the simple steps that I'd heard for so long. Learning (and living) to take things "one day at a time" really helped me take a step back from trying to control life, stay calm, and just turn things over to God. Although it's still something I have to remind myself of daily, it has helped me to enjoy things more. I've learned to try to accept things (and people) for what they are, not question "why", and just "do me"....these are things I obviously still struggle with, but for the most part I can honestly say I have taken a step back and just let things BE.

March: When our boss told us that we'd be getting a new traveling admissions rep for awhile, our entire staff whined that our "normal" guy, Cliff, wouldn't be coming. We didn't want this new guy. Ugh. Who knew that this boy would turn my world so completely upside down! I remember when JM walked into our campus for the first time. I barely looked up from my computer to welcome him. He quickly walked by my office and into his own, and I don't really remember talking to him the first two days that he was here. Finally, we made small talk and QUICKLY became inseparable. The week my kids were in MN with their dad, JM and I spent four out of the five days together, learning as much as we could about each other.

April: JM and I continued building our relationship, though from afar, as he was working between here and Michigan for a majority of the month. We went out as much as we could, (thank you Mom for helping with the kids SO much!), but most of our dates were via phone late at night once he got off work!
My cousin Megan and I took our two older girls to Disney Princess on Ice! They loved it! It's so much fun having kids the same age!

Chloe and Lilly at Disney on Ice

May: The first weekend this month, Megan and I ran our very first 5K in Chicago! Although it's not much to most people, the 3.something mile race was a huge accomplishment to us! We "trained" for a couple months, and were VERY proud of ourselves for finishing!

Megan, Me, Gary, Manny, and Andrea..post race pic! 

Also this month, we celebrated Lilly's 5th birthday by throwing a big polka-dot party! It was so much fun to have friends and family here to celebrate with us! Aaron was able to come in from MN to be here with Lills too! It was just a GREAT party for our little lady!

Happy Birthday Lilly! 

June: My dear friend Shannon welcomed her first daughter, baby Kinslee! Yay!
Earlier in the month, Megan and I joined my brothers and their friends in Indy for the wine festival. FUN!!! Although it was SUPER hot, we had SO much fun together! I can't wait to go again next year!!
I spent a majority of the early months of summer outside in the sun, with the kiddies...just enjoying life!

July: The kids, JM, and I spent July 4th in Wabash with Megan, and her girls! It was very low-key, and so much fun!
Late in the month, the kids went to MN for another week! I took the time to spend a night in Michigan with JM for the first time. I met his immediate family and LOVED them! The next weekend, I took a weekend trip with Megan, to St.Joe, MI and then onto Chicago. Megan and I took full advantage of being kidless, by sipping on Shandy for a majority of the weekend! FUN!

Me and Meg, at A&G's place in Chicago

August: And so began the rest of her life! My little Lilly started kindergarten this month! We had a lot of things leading up to her first day, including kindergarten registration, kindergarten kick-off, and a quick meet and greet with her teacher. Finally the big day was here. Lilly's. First. Day. Of. School. OH MY GOODNESS! I can't believe she is old enough to start school...REAL SCHOOL! Although it was (VERY) hard leaving her in the classroom on that first day, I knew she was in good hands, and I knew she'd be just fine. She made it through her first day (and months) just fine!

September: What a month! I met JM's extended family at a Labor Day cookout. They were amazing, of course. Then the next weekend, JM met my brothers for the first time! He was a hit! They loved him! JM and I took our first major roadtrip together! We went to Cleveland for a wedding. It was nice to meet JM's friends for the first time!
JM and I joined some friends for a country music festival in downtown FTW. It was FUN to spend the evening with friends, family, and good music!

Josh, Amanda, me, and JM

October: I took the kids to JM's house in MI for the first time. We spent the day in GR for Pulaski Days (eeeeh!).
I interviewed for (and didn't get) a new position at work.
The kids and I went to FL with my mom and brothers for a quick little weekend vacation! We flew in on a Friday morning, spent the day shopping in Orlando, and woke up the next day to go to Sea World. It was SO much fun! The kids LOVED Sea World, and it was the PERFECT trip!

November: We ventured to Chicago for Thanksgiving! It was great having JM celebrate with us this year! We had our first (and only) snow of the season. Thankfully it was over as quickly as it started! The snow melted after a couple days!

Uncle Adam and Lills

December: Still no snow (knock on wood). It's been the most PERFECT "winter" so far! One day of snow, temperatures in the 40's, and a GREEN Christmas! Woot woot!
It was our first Christmas with JM. He spoiled me like CRRRRAZY (I thoroughly enjoyed it!)!
Anderson turned FOUR this month!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe he's already FOUR! He keeps telling us that "four year olds are so much nicer than three year olds!" We'll see!!! JM and I took Anderson to his first hockey game for his birthday! He LOVED it!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot wait to get another year started! I'm so excited to see what 2012 has in store!!!!!!!!

Eh, Why Not?!

Having a couple days off work inspires me...to sit on the couch and mess around with the look of my blog!

Yesterday, JM and I both had the day off. We took the kids to daycare (don't judge my parenting!) and used the "free time" to return a few Christmas gifts, use up our gift cards, and just enjoy each other's time! It was nice to spend a weekday together, without babies. Last night, we took Anderson to his first hockey game! HE. LOVED. IT! We all three had so much fun! (Pictures to come, I promise!)
Today is another relaxing day! Kids are at daycare, JM and I are about to head to a movie (or first movie together in nine months!), and it's after noon and I'm still in my jammies. I'm taking FULL advantage of this long holiday weekend!

Passing It On

My cousin Megan and I were the BEST of friends when we were younger. We would lie and tell people that we were twins! It was so much fun! A couple weeks ago, we took a night for "us" and watched (for the millionth time) our favorite movie, Beaches. I think I already blogged about that! Anyway, Megan and I have kids the same ages. It's been fun to see our kids grow into friends too!
One of my favorite memories from my childhood, was spending holidays with my cousins at Grandma Hahn's house. We were a family of traditions. We met at the same time, every holiday. The kids did the same activities every year! We would go bowling after Thanksgiving or Christmas (and it almost always resulted in a big argument). But we always had fun together! Each family's kids were similar in age, so it was nice to have specific cousins in the same age group. For me, it was Eric and Megan. We always had fun!

It's been fun to see my kids and my cousins' kids "pair off" again! Lilly and Chloe are good buddies (although Lilly LOVES little Eli too!). And Anderson seems to do whatever precious Ava is doing! It's so cute! This year at Christmas, it was fun to see ALL six kids play together! Here's a picture I was able to snap (this NEVER happens so easily!)!!!

Noah and Eli (Aaron and Sarah's kids); Lilly (mine!); Chloe and Ava (Megan's kids); and Anderson (mine!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDY MANO!

Today is my precious baby's birthday! Here are just a couple pictures from his birthday party yesterday! I'll take the time this week to catch up on the past few days!

Such a happy birthday boy!

Uncle G and Anderson

Our Christmas Letter

Wow! I cannot believe 2011 is already coming to an end! There have been a lot of exciting changes that have gone on this year. So, in case you've missed out on anything that's happened this year, here's what we've been up to!

Lilly started kindergarten this year! Although it was rough on us all (okay, me!), Lilly seems to have adjusted well and has only had a couple minor transitional issues. (Who knew it was bad manners to stand on your head at circle time?!) She rides the bus this year, which is a pretty big deal too! I see changes in her daily, and it's still so hard to believe that my little girl is in kindergarten! Lilly is also in ballet and tap! She takes class once a week, for forty-five minutes. She has a lot of fun and seems to really enjoy it! I cannot wait until her recital in the spring! (Stay tuned for pictures!)

Anderson is still at preschool all day. He loves it! He has developed quite the personality, and is such a silly boy! Anderson took tennis lessons this past summer. Fort Wayne has a parks and rec summer program, which includes a five-week tennis class. Although his class was earrrrly on Saturday mornings, he enjoyed the lessons and I think he'll probably want to do it again next summer! Watching him grow into a little man absolutely warms my heart. It's hard to believe he'll be four at the end of this month!

I'm still working for the same company in Fort Wayne. I have made amazing friendships with my co-workers, and I feel so lucky to love my job as much as I do! For those who don't already know, I bought a house last year (July 2010). I love being a homeowner and it's been very exciting making changes to the house! I can't believe we've already had our house for over a year now! 

The kids spent a few weeks in Minnesota over the course of the past year. They have fun spending time with their dad, and I love that they're still able to see him, even with him being so far away. Although I dread their time away from me, it IS nice to have a break every once in awhile! The kids and I went to Florida a couple months ago for a quick weekend getaway! We spent a day at Sea World, and the kids absolutely loved it! It was a perfect, quick trip! In addition to these trips, we also spent some time in Chicago with my brothers! I look forward to taking more family trips next year (starting with a cruise in February with my brother, to celebrate my 30th birthday!!!!)

I look forward to starting 2012 with as much enthusiasm, and hope for another amazing year! 

Butterflies

Lately certain things have given me that butterfly feeling...ya know, the feeling like you could just jump up and down because your heart feels so full of love and excitement! I thought I'd make a list of things that give me butterflies!

• seeing JM's handwriting on forms at work. (we work for the same company)
• hearing Anderson crawl into bed with me in the morning and feeling his little hand on my shoulder
• hearing songs that make me think of my grandma
• waking up and seeing JM's love letters to me
• the pictures on my desk of my kids
• thinking of my little Lilly...doing anything. Oh I just love her to pieces!
• getting a vm from JM, and hearing him call me "baby girl!"
• receiving a text from an old friend
• thinking about Christmas morning!

She takes my breath away

I've had this picture saved in my inbox since August of 2008. On days like today, I open it up for a little reminder that someone very special in heaven is watching over me. It helps to calm my mind and settle my nerves. Knowing that I'm not going through life alone, that I have someone very special helping me through each day, makes my heart happy.

In my free time...

With Aaron being here these past few days, I've realized that with the help of another parent, it frees up a lot of my time! I haven't made dinner in five days. I have managed to squeeze in a haircut, a manicure, and have tanned more than once in the past week. Last night, I even got home after 6:30pm. OH. MY. GOSH!! Although I've enjoyed my free time, I feel like I haven't really spent quality time with the kids-- since when I am home with them, they're either on their new DS's or they're climbing all over their dad. I have missed reading to them at the end of the day, I've missed bathtime, jammie time, and even bedtime. Daddy has put them to bed the past two nights and it kinda makes me sad! As much as I've enjoyed the mini-break from reality, I miss our normal routine and I'm looking forward to getting back to it. Aaron will be gone in less than four hours, and I can't tell you how happy I am to have my kids back to myself!!!!

Lesson Learned

"When the past calls, let it go to voice-mail. It has nothing new to say."

So, I mentioned earlier this week that Aaron is home to spend some time with the kids for the holidays. Although every one many of my friends wondered WHY I was being so generous to Aaron by paying for a room for him and the kids (JM "donated" his hotel points) at a hotel one night so the kids could swim, letting him stay at my house one night (while I stayed in Wabash with my cousin), and letting him hang out with the kids at my house while I was at work for two days, the bottom line was that I was willing to do anything to  keep my kids in FTW over the holidays versus them traveling to MN for a week. With the winter weather, I wasn't willing to risk them driving across country for a week, just to celebrate Christmas with their dad. It made more sense for him to hunker down here in FTW for a few days instead.

While I appreciate the fact that Aaron agreed to celebrate in FTW, I can't help but regret my decision to be so generous to him. He has taken advantage of my gratuity, for the millionth time. I came home today to find my Christmas tree still aglow (middle of the day), my space heater running on full-blast, my kitchen lights on, the television blaring, and my dryer full of HIS clothes. SERIOUSLY? Aaron and I haven't been a couple for the past two years or more. He doesn't have the "right" to just leave my house in shambles and more importantly, to do laundry with MY soaps, without my permission. I've been more than generous by opening up MY home to him.

The bottom line is that I did what I did this year, for my kids. I wanted them to be able to spend time with their dad over the holidays, but I wanted them HERE. I guess this is what they mean when they say "you do what you have to do for your children." Things don't always work out perfectly, but as long as I can keep as much normalcy for my kids during the next couple days, I've done what I've needed to do.

Prayers please.

Christmas with Daddy!

I'm so excited for my kids this weekend! Aaron gets to town later today, and he and the kids will spend tonight in a hotel (with a pool of course!)! Tomorrow morning they'll come back home and open their gifts from Aaron! They are under the impression that Santa stops in Minnesota first because it's closer to the North Pole (sure!)!  So, since Santa already stopped at Daddy's house, we're going to celebrate Christmas with Daddy Saturday morning! I'm excited for the kids, mostly because Aaron got them exactly what they wanted (of course), but also because I'm glad that Aaron has never missed out on a Christmas with them. Even if they have to celebrate it on a different day, it still means a lot to me that they have their own Christmas with their Dad.
Stay tuned for pictures.

The rest of the weekend, the kids will hang out with Aaron, while I go to Wabash to spend some quality time with my cousin Megan! Her kids are also going to be gone, so we plan to go get manicures, maybe get some pizza and wine, and watch our ALL TIME favorite movie, Beaches! We used to watch that movie three times a day when we were younger! I cannot wait!!!

A Wise Girl Once Told Me...

I was dealing with a lot of heavy "stuff" on Monday. Things were weighing heavy on my heart and making my mind swirl. Before I picked up the kids that afternoon, I just lost it. I sat in a parking lot, just sobbing my heart out on the phone to JM, (bless his heart for not freaking out and running the opposite way!). It wasn't pretty, let me just say that! Anyway, by the time I picked up the kids from school, my eyes were puffy and red, and I looked a mess! I tried to pull myself together, but Lilly asked what was wrong with my eyes. Ugh, bad parenting...never let your kids see you upset.

When we got to the car, Lilly asked what was wrong. She was very concerned. My only answer to her was "sometimes people just say mean things and it hurts Mama's feelings." Lilly's response: "Mom, you just need to walk away and not bite their hook." What? I asked her what that meant. She explained that when people are mean to you, you just need to plug your ears and walk away. She said that sometimes people just say mean things to trap you. They want you to cry. She said "as long as you don't bite their hook, you can't get hurt." Wow. My five year old just said one of the most profound things I had ever heard (seriously!)!

It's true. We sometimes set ourself up for disappointment by letting people hook us. We take the bait and end up getting hurt, for no reason. If we had just walked away and carried on with life as usual, maybe we wouldn't have ended up crying in a parking lot somewhere. My plan for the future-- walk away and don't bite their hook. (Thanks Lills!)

Keep It Happy!

So I totally was "that" facebooker the past few days. Sunday night I posted about my struggles with Aaron. I did the vague, "...and just when I think I've heard it all, he comes and shocks me with another one. I truly thought, in the past six years, I had heard it all from him. Wow." Although my close friends and family knew who/what I was referring to, I still took it "there" and it was just unnecessary. Then last night I posted something about being exhausted with having to be the positive voice in a crowd of so much negativity. Again, it was one of those "tell just enough to make people ask questions" type of posts. It's tacky, and I apologize to my fb friends who also read my blog!

But here's the deal. I LOVE my life. I LOVE my job. I am HAPPY with where I am in life. But, there are bad days and there are issues that come up that make me question everything (and post a bogus fb status or two!). And sometimes I just get tired of having to be the team's cheerleader. Sometimes I just want to blubber to my boyfriend about the crappy day I had. Sometimes I just want to be mad at the world for...everything. I really feel stressed about having to keep everyone else happy. I am tired of hearing about EVERYONE'S crap. BUT.....

In posting my pathetic fb status, my bff Brandon's step-mom wrote: "'Let no one encounter you without your parting gift of encouragement and hope.' I know how hard it is to remain positive in a negative world; but let me encourage you to LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE BRIGHTLY! William James said 'Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.' You are always planting seeds with your words of encouragement! Be blessed my friend!"

So yes, sometimes it's tacky-magacky (yes, you can use that word) to post garbage on facebook, but sometimes you just need that encouragement from someone. For me, it was Karen, reminding me to keep on shining and keep on keeping on. Because regardless of how exhausting it may be to ME to cheer people up or keep people happy, it must be a lot more exhausting to have such a negative outlook on so many things in life.

Nana time!

The kids and I had a very relaxing weekend! Friday evening we picked up pizzas on the way home from work/school and watched a movie cuddled up on the couch together. As much as I LOVE having JM here, sometimes it's nice to get alone time with the kids! 

Saturday morning, my mom came to town. She promised the kids that they could  help her decorate her Christmas cookies this year, so she brought all her cookies to our house and let the kids go crazy on them! The kids LOVED it and had so much fun with Nana! We discovered that Anderson has a knack for decorating cookies....Lilly, not so much! 

Making the icing!

Putting on the sprinkles!

Stay In Touch!

I took a huge leap of faith this year by putting my blog address on our family Christmas cards. My blog has somewhat switched from an online journal of my own life, to a way of keeping family and friends informed about what is going on with the kids and me. There are so many hilarious stories about the kids that it would be a shame to not share them! I think every parent, at some point, has said that they should write a book about the silly and crazy things their kids say or do. Well, my blog is my way of "writing that book" about my kids! I hope you all enjoy keeping in touch with us and I'll be posting a "Christmas letter" closer to the big day. Although my blog has detailed many of the exciting events and changes over the past year, a year-end recap will be nice for all our new readers and followers!

A Natural!

Last night was Anderson's Holiday Program...and it was all that a kids' Christmas program could hope to be! He was adorable and did a fabulous job on stage! He's a natural!

At home before the program

Cody Coyote!

Finally, after nearly a month of being sent home with less-than-perfect behavior charts, my little Lilly had a great day at school yesterday and was awarded for it with Cody Coyote! Apparently, the "good kids" (as Lilly has termed it) get to spend time with Cody Coyote during the day (according to Lilly, it's a small stuffed animal that stays in the classroom until the end of each week when it is then sent home with a child with the best behavior, for the weekend). I know Lilly isn't a bad girl, she just struggles with listening and following directions, and is easily influenced. We're working on this, and I know yesterday is the start to better days for Lills! GOOO LILLY!!!

He's lucky he can't write!

My children have had trouble lately remembering that crayons and pens are for coloring on paper and not on household items. I was always one of those parents who said "my kids would NE-VER write on walls or furniture." (Of course I was also that parent who said my kids would NEVER cut each other's hair, but that happened a couple years ago too.) Well, imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw the word "happy" engraved into a piece of furniture.

Immediately I questioned Lilly about it and of course she blamed her three year old brother. Anderson's response: "It wasn't ME, I can't even write letters!" (I giggled to myself!) Kid has a point!!!

**Lilly was punished appropriately (calling her uncle (who had given the table to us) to apologize, cleaning the baseboards in the entire downstairs on her hands and knees, and an early bedtime) and that was the end of the conversation. The word remains uncovered on the table, which sits at the bottom of our strairs, and serves as a constant reminder everyday to be "happy." (Thanks Lills!)

What's In a Name?

I always get so excited when the list of the 100 most popular baby names comes out each year! It takes me back to the time when I was choosing names for my own kids, and praying that my favorite choices weren't near the top of the list of popular names. I had a rule when I was picking names, that it couldn't be anything with a strange spelling, it couldn't be a name that any of my friends' kids already had, it couldn't be shortened and it couldn't be in the list of most popular baby names for that year. Well, I clearly broke that rule for Lilly, as she was #14 in 2006 (even though the spelling was different). And I sometimes catch myself calling Anderson Andy. Although I'm proud to say that Anderson's name is still not on the list, four years later!
I remember writing out different names that we liked...Ella, Lilly, Harper (yes Katie, I know you still laugh at that one!), Brody, Oliver (Mom's favorite), Reid, and Anderson. With Lilly, I would practicee writing different names, until finally I got butterflies when I wrote Lilly Jane. Lilly is a family name (Lillian, actually) on my Mom's side, and Jane pays tribute to my dad's mom, and of course my mom. Anderson's name took us a little longer to decide upon (and to this day, there are people who openly dislike his name, RUDE!). Mom wanted us to name him Oliver, but it reminded me of a dog. Aaron liked Brody Aaron, but I was afraid Brody was too trendy because of Brody Jenner (hello hotness!). I openly have a weird infatuation with Anderson Cooper, and I use to say that if I ever had a boy, I'd name him after Andy Coop.

I'm pretty sure I had the final say in naming both of my kids. I know Aaron really liked Ella better for Lilly, and I'm sure he would have rather had Anderson's middle name be tied more closely to him, but...! I ended up giving in and letting Aaron name Anderson's middle name Lee, after both Aaron and Aaron's dad who passed away twelve years before Anderson was born.

I wonder now, what's in a name? I picture Lilly to be a carefree-fun-loving girl. I imagine some creative career for her...something without much structure or boundaries or limitations. I see Anderson as a strong, conservative, businessman with a rigid schedule and overwhelmingly high standards and expectations. I guess we'll see, huh?!

We're getting closer!!!!

It's finally December! Only 24 more days until Christmas! Last weekend we put up our tree and a few decorations around the house! And just yesterday we put our first presents under the tree. With JM back in town, I had been hiding his gifts in Lilly's closet! Finally Lilly and I just decided to wrap them and put them under the tree to be totally sure JM wouldn't see them! (Lilly was verrrry worried that he might!) I CANNOT WAIT to spend this Christmas with my kids and the love of my life. It's going to be the happiest Christmas EVER!