Home

Anderson spent the night with my mom last night, leaving Lilly and I to a much needed girls' night. I saw it as a perfect opportunity to try out a new church. There's a gorgeously (that's a word) massive church, literally a mile from my house. I've always considered trying it out, but never taken the plunge. When I saw that they had a Saturday evening service, I thought about how perfect that would be. Taking two kids to a new church, not knowing anyone, can be a smidge overwhelming, but taking my semi-well-behaved six year old, not as much. I saw last night as the perfect opportunity!
The Chapel is, like I said, a humongous church. It's not unusual for there to be two or three sheriff's directing traffic in and out of their parking lot on Sunday mornings. Let me interject here and note that I have had minimal "issues" with my church, other than our favorite worship pastor's departure awhile ago, leaving us knowing essentially no one in the congregation. And I felt a little annoyed with one of the lead pastor's response to Anderson's request of being baptized earlier this year. But...other than those two things, I have considered Sonrise "home" to me and my kids for almost three years now.
Let me point out too, that for probably the first three months, the thing that took me back to Sonrise every week was the worship. So obviously, when I am looking to find a new church (which we aren't necessarily seeking to do), the first thing I notice is their worship team!
As Lilly and I walked into the lobby of The Chapel Saturday evening, the smell of the familiar overwhelmed me. As we walked into the sanctuary, the sight of the familiar warmed me. Church pews, something that I hadn't seen since my young days as a good little Catholic girl, lined the enormous sanctuary. I felt very welcomed. People were friendly. But that's where it stopped. As the worship team started their praise and worship, thirty-one people (yes we counted) lined the giant stage, and sang the familiar tunes. To say that it fell short to the worship at Sonrise (even post JW) would be the understatement of the century. Thirty-one people, young and old, could not bring me to my feet, get my hands clapping, get my heart pumping. Thirty-one people could not do for me, what one person (JW) did for me many years ago. Mixed with the lousy message (something about protons and neutrons proving there is a God), the twenty minutes of worship did not motivate me to want to go back to The Chapel.
This morning, Lilly and I woke up early and decided that we would go to Sonrise's 9:30 service, the service that we most often frequented. I had received an email earlier in the week, alerting me that we would be starting a new series called "Target: What if You Lived Your Dream Every Day"...I opened that email, read what the series would be about, and knew that I HAD to make it back to Sonrise asap! This series was all about finding what you were made to do, following the plan that God had created especially for YOU, and doing what you needed to do to end up where you were created to be.   I. WAS. PUMPED!
After today's message, I got to thinking...WHAT AM I DOING? I LOOOOOVE my blog. I LOOOOOVE to write. I LOOOOVE blogging about my life and using it as my outlet to vent about whatever is going on in my life. BUT...I sat there this morning and I thought...If I could do what I love to do, and what I'm good(ish) at doing, and have a PURPOSE with doing it...how AWESOME would that be??? Which prompted me to think...maybe I should end "Lucky Chance" blog. Maybe I should be writing for the bigger picture. Maybe I should take what I love to do (write) and use it for something more. Maybe I should quit this blog, which has turned from one tragedy to the next, and write about something that really matters. I feel inadequate to have a "Christian-based blog"...I feel like a newbie in my faith to be able to "lead" on such matters. But, I want to do what I love to do, and have a PURPOSE. I feel like my constant rants about my failed relationship with JM, my endless disappointments in Aaron, and my never-ending stressors of being a single parent are getting old. It's time I stop complaining about my failed plans and start living for His plans for me. We shall see.