Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"Don't play the jealous game."

When you've been burned in a previous relationship, it's hard not to carry that baggage into future relationships. But for the first time in my life I feel relaxed and comfortable with myself and who I am as part of a couple. Sure there are situations that have come up in the past six months that make me insecure and make me question whether or not I "have it in me" to go down this road again. But I think the difference is, this time I'm on a completely different road. This road isn't bumpy, it's not winding, it's not hilly. It's not straight and narrow either. Rather, it's one of those smooth, calm, wide-open roads. The kind of road that you know is going to take you somewhere magical, somewhere very few people get to visit.
There are moments I catch myself being unappreciative of the things that JM does for me. He leaves me cute notes all over the place, he drives countless miles each month to be able to spend time with me, and he makes every effort to make sure I feel loved. This is a man who, I know, would do anything to make sure that I was taken care of, protected, and happy.
Oftentimes I complain about my past, and the hardships that I went through after Aaron left. There are times I feel entitled to great things because I went through so many "horrible" things. I can't help but be ashamed at those thoughts. Nothing I went through was THAT terrible. Nothing happened "to" me. I've finally been able to step back and appreciate the things that occurred in the past, because without all those tough times, I never would have found my most perfect man.

I love you JM. You are the man of my dreams. I will be forever grateful to have met you. I cannot wait to spend forever with you.

2 comments:

jeff said...

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Anonymous said...

Gretchen if you are worried about taking baggage..trade it in for luggage....might help ....

Dad