I realized during my student teaching, that I was not cut out to be a teacher. As much as I enjoyed teaching English, I learned that I had zero patience for the students! Major problem! As a parent, I see my patience being tested all the time. I blame it on their age and tell (promise) myself it'll get better once they get a little older. My mom assures me this isn't the case! Crap!
I'm a self-admitted control freak. As much as I'd love to just let things play out on their own, and in their own time, I am beginning to realize that I just may not be capable of doing this. I use the excuse that I was put into the position of "control" when Aaron left, which MAY be true...with the kids. But what about the other aspects of my life, the other relationships?
I went on a "one-day-at-a-time" kick at the beginning of the year. It proved to be successful for me! I was happier. I was carefree, yet in control of my life. I want to get back to that point. I want to be able to just go with the flow, let things roll off my back, and just trust that it will all be okay. Although I have NO idea how to get to that point, and although I'm scared crapless of what that means for my sanity, I am willing to take the steps necessary to get there. I wonder if there's a twelve step program for people like me? LOL!
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