Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Me I Want to Be


We're starting a new series at church called "the me I want to be." Today was the first day of the series and I'm so excited to see where it goes. This comes at a very good time in my life, as I am finally content with where I am...with that said, I need to question whether or not I'm being the best version of me that I can be.

There were four different aspects to the idea of "finding my identity" that we discussed this morning that sometimes get in the way of being the best version of me...the me that God made me to be. These aspects really ring true for me (and for others, obviously), but I think listing them out helps me to see that I don't HAVE to live behind them. They are: 1) the me that I pretend to be, 2) the me I think I should be, 3) the me other people want me to be, and 4) the me that fails to be.

The me that I pretend to be-- we all portray ourselves as a certain way, but we all fall short of being that person. It's funny, a friend and I were just talking about this last night. Facebook, while a great way to network and stay connected, fails to hold people accountable. I mean, we all have read (and maybe even written) status updates bragging about our perfect children, wonderful spouse, or perfect life, when in reality it's just not true. We write these status updates to pretend to be someone that we're just not. Perhaps it's our intention to be that way, but we fall short, because the reality is that no one, other than God, is perfect or has a perfect life. Once we can start living our reality, we can get closer to being the me that God intended us to be.
The second idea of this series, the me that I think I should be, is sometimes a heavy burden. We have all these ideas of what we SHOULD be doing, what we SHOULD be making, where we SHOULD be living, what we SHOULD be eating, wearing, saying, having, etc...This holds us back from being who we were truly intended to be. If we could just live our life, accepting the way things are, acknowledging that we may not be who WE think we should be, but trusting that we are who God intended us to be, we are steps closer to being the best version of "me".
The third point, the me other people want me to be, is one that hit a huge nerve for me. While I can say that the people in my life are very supportive and rarely push their opinions on me, I DO think I'M guilty of forcing my ideas on other people, and what they SHOULD be doing. I'm no expert on life, but I look back at my friendships and I wonder if I don't push people too hard and make myself out to appear that I have it all together and have all the answers (going back to the me I pretend to be). I have a good friend going through a divorce. Instead of being supportive and compassionate during this very difficult time, I was tough and very matter-of-fact with him. I basically told him what he SHOULD be doing, how he SHOULD be feeling, and how he SHOULD be living. I want to be one of the supportive people in the lives of others, because I think that's the best version of me I have to offer. Being hard and tough and brutal isn't really ME.
Finally, the me that fails to be. This one confused me a little bit, but the most important lesson I got from this one was this: "Life isn't about hwow long you've existed, but rather how long you have LIVED." There are times in our lives that we feel like we're REALLY LIVING. For me, this was the birth of my kids, the purchase of my first home, and some other minor accomplishments. Although I was born almost twenty-nine years ago, I can say that I've only truly LIVED for minutes...maybe less than twenty minutes. It's a sad reality, but I think knowing that and realizing that I WANT to LIVE more, will make me appreciate more moments and help me feel like I have a purpose and a reason to LIVE.

I'm very excited for this series and I look foward to working towards being the best version of me that I can be.

Ephesians 2:10:
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

2 comments:

Bran ♥ said...

thank you for posting this. it was something i needed to read and now i need to ponder.

teresa-bug said...

We just read 'The Me I Want to Be' by John Ortberg in my Lifegroup. It was a great book and generated some great discussions and ponderings.