Christmas at Daddy's

My kids are on an airplane as I write this, heading to MN to spend Christmas with their dad. As with every other time they've left for Minnesota, I have a mix of emotions going through me. Part of me welcomes the break, but the majority of me hates that my kids are gone! The past few years Aaron has spent Christmas in Indiana or has just sent a package of presents for the kids, but with the new visitation schedule that the two of us agreed upon, we decided that the kids should spend half of their Christmas break with Daddy. It breaks my heart to send my kids off, but I know that it swells Aaron's heart to be able to see his kids during the holidays!

Aaron and I have really struggled to get along over the past few years. It seems that everytime we get something ironed out, some other situation comes up that takes us back to square one. I've been telling myself over and over that I can't control Aaron or what he does, but I can control my own actions and the way that I react to Aaron's choices. I have to remind myself over and over (and over and over and over) that Aaron is not ME. He's not going to do things exactly like I do them. He's not going to feed the kids at exactly the time I would. He's not going to drive exactly like I do (although he really should!). And most importantly, he's not going to call them everyday just because I think he should, or just because I would. Moms aren't dads. Dads aren't moms. And most importantly, no two people are the same. It's hard for me to "accept" that Aaron isn't going to do things exactly like I would do them, but I am learning that this is something that I absolutely have to deal with and learn to accept.

Lilly was over-the-moon excited to leave this morning, and for me, that's enough. As long as my kids are happy, healthy, and safe I am happy to send them to MN for little getaways! (Remind me of this in 24 hours when I miss my kids to death and am moping around!)