Time to Grow Up

I talk to my kids a lot about getting along with each other. I explain to them how annoying it is for other people to hear them fight. I tell them how much it hurts when people are mean to us, and that we should treat people how we would want them to treat us. I break up a lot of toddler fights in my house, and it just drives me absolutely BONKERS to hear them fight ALL THE TIME! 

With that said, I have been forced to look at my own relationships. Although I'm no longer clawing the skin off my brother's arms during a fight, I still have my little 'tude with people and sometimes it's very ugly. Most recently I've been in a multi-month battle with the kids' dad. It's HARD to get along with him, folks! HARD. It's not that he's a mean person, he just doesn't GET IT. He doesn't understand my stance on ANYTHING. And that bothers me, deeply. I came to this realization this past weekend. My cousin was dealing with a similar issue with her ex husband, and she called me in tears over it. Again, it's not that she was upset about the actual fight, she was just upset with him for not getting it. It was SO easy for me to guide her back to reality...that is, the realization that we aren't with them for a reason, that they're men and they won't EVER get it like we do, that we've got to hold it together for our kids, and that he's probably just saying all this stuff to get under her skin. Sure the arguments may be justified, but it's the way we react that says a lot about our own character. 

I have high hopes for me and Aaron. I know that somewhere, deeeeep down, there's a good man. A man who truly believes that he's doing the best thing for his kids. A man who doesn't hate me. A man who wants something more for his own life. It's not for me to fix anymore, it never was! I just need to trust that God chose Aaron for me and for my kids for a reason. I don't see it, but I have to believe that there's a reason! It's time for me to grow up, be an adult, put our past aside, and just move on  to the future-- whatever that may be. This is going to take extreme patience on my part. Wish me luck, people! This isn't going to always be pretty!