DAMN YOU BACHELOR!

Let it be known, I probably couldn't make it through an entire episode of "The Bachelor" without a bottle...eerrrr GLASS of wine ;) but since I use the delectable drink to help me through the reality show, I've become addicted...not to the wine, but to the show and the idea of the show! Yeah yeah yeah I know, the show is intended to make us single (or not single) gals reflect upon our dreary, dreadful, sad, lonely, (I'll stop there) lives and give us these ridiculous hopes of what we may one day find. But let's be honest, we all know it's never going to happen. As fun as it is to pretend to be Allie or Tenley and have a handsome hunk who says all the right things, at all the right times, at all the right locations (hello St.Lucia), we know that none of the lackluster men in our lives would mutter a single one of Jake's sweet-nothings, let alone take us to St.Lucia, or at least not without bitching about "how much this is costing him."

So I've been thinking. How do we decide the point at which we're just settling versus being less subjective? Let me just be completely honest, I've turned into that self-help-book-reading-girl. During one of my afternoons perusing Yahoo, I came across an article that spoke directly to me. I quickly emailed my friend Megan telling her I must buy this book.

I didn't have to work last Wednesday due to bad weather. I saw it as a perfect opportunity to take my car in for an oil change and some other minor work, and a GREAT day to start reading my new book. After waiting outside of Barnes & Noble, only to find out they were opening late due to weather, I went across the street to Borders. After turning down the cute Border boy's offer to help me find what I was looking for, I spent the next twenty minutes trying to locate this bright red book...keeping my distance from the "Self-Help" section...convinced that was not my precious book's categorization. Indeed, it was. I got to the counter only to find out that my "relationship bible" was $27! My eyes bugged out and before I could stop myself I blurted out "OH MY, it was only $15 at Barnes and Noble and I would have gotten it there but they're opening late due to the weather..." I stopped myself as fast as I could, thinking that this guy must think I'm the most pathetic moron to have entered his store. Here is this young (28 is still young) girl bitching about how much her husband-finding book is costing her. Oh, embarrassing. I quickly exit the store, gratful that I don't spend much time in Borders.

I've read only a small bit of the book, and after reading it I feel compelled to go out there and find me a short, balding, nice guy....but then I SEE the short, balding, nice guy and I can't help but feel slightly cheated. While the book makes a good point (what "perfect" guy is going to want a 28-year-old girl with two kids, a jaded outlook on relationships, etc), I can't help but feel like there's still something more. Now don't get me wrong, I'm in NO hurry to find "the one"....if he even exits (well welcome back, Cynicism!) but I WOULD like to have something to do once in awhile, with someone other than my mother and my two kids (no offense Mama!). And with all my friends' upcoming weddings, it'd be NICE to have a date to those events, rather than hoping for a fellow single friend to be in attendance!

I don't know. Perhaps I should try watching The Bachelor with clear eyes (literally!) and then I'd get a look at how completely silly it is to think that another guy like Jake exists! (Anyone know if he has a brother?! LOL!)