Girls are CRRRRRAZY!

After watching another tragic episode of The Bachelor last night (complete with a bottle of wine, of course), I realized that girls are crrrrazy! No, this isn't some grand epiphany I had just after last night's show, but it served as a reminder of what NOT to do!

I have a couple single friends who try SOOOOOO hard to make things work with guys. I understand their logic of WANTING to be with someone, but I hate the way they go about it. It seems so desperate, and I know these girls are better than that! It makes the rest of us look equally as nutty! I'm not entirely innocent, as I'm sure there was a guy who I pined over pathetically. But hopefully I've grown up since then and I've learned that when it's over, it's over! Girls are kind-of dumb when it comes to relationships-- maybe even worse than men. Things are pretty black and white for men. Girls try to find the gray area in what he says/does, to make it "fit" into what she wants. In reality, when a guy says it's over, it's over!!! Let it go! Chuck it up to it being HIS loss and move on to the next eligible bachelor willing to see you for what you are!

The Me I Want to Be

We're starting a new series at church called "the me I want to be." Today was the first day of the series and I'm so excited to see where it goes. This comes at a very good time in my life, as I am finally content with where I am...with that said, I need to question whether or not I'm being the best version of me that I can be.

There were four different aspects to the idea of "finding my identity" that we discussed this morning that sometimes get in the way of being the best version of me...the me that God made me to be. These aspects really ring true for me (and for others, obviously), but I think listing them out helps me to see that I don't HAVE to live behind them. They are: 1) the me that I pretend to be, 2) the me I think I should be, 3) the me other people want me to be, and 4) the me that fails to be.

The me that I pretend to be-- we all portray ourselves as a certain way, but we all fall short of being that person. It's funny, a friend and I were just talking about this last night. Facebook, while a great way to network and stay connected, fails to hold people accountable. I mean, we all have read (and maybe even written) status updates bragging about our perfect children, wonderful spouse, or perfect life, when in reality it's just not true. We write these status updates to pretend to be someone that we're just not. Perhaps it's our intention to be that way, but we fall short, because the reality is that no one, other than God, is perfect or has a perfect life. Once we can start living our reality, we can get closer to being the me that God intended us to be.
The second idea of this series, the me that I think I should be, is sometimes a heavy burden. We have all these ideas of what we SHOULD be doing, what we SHOULD be making, where we SHOULD be living, what we SHOULD be eating, wearing, saying, having, etc...This holds us back from being who we were truly intended to be. If we could just live our life, accepting the way things are, acknowledging that we may not be who WE think we should be, but trusting that we are who God intended us to be, we are steps closer to being the best version of "me".
The third point, the me other people want me to be, is one that hit a huge nerve for me. While I can say that the people in my life are very supportive and rarely push their opinions on me, I DO think I'M guilty of forcing my ideas on other people, and what they SHOULD be doing. I'm no expert on life, but I look back at my friendships and I wonder if I don't push people too hard and make myself out to appear that I have it all together and have all the answers (going back to the me I pretend to be). I have a good friend going through a divorce. Instead of being supportive and compassionate during this very difficult time, I was tough and very matter-of-fact with him. I basically told him what he SHOULD be doing, how he SHOULD be feeling, and how he SHOULD be living. I want to be one of the supportive people in the lives of others, because I think that's the best version of me I have to offer. Being hard and tough and brutal isn't really ME.
Finally, the me that fails to be. This one confused me a little bit, but the most important lesson I got from this one was this: "Life isn't about hwow long you've existed, but rather how long you have LIVED." There are times in our lives that we feel like we're REALLY LIVING. For me, this was the birth of my kids, the purchase of my first home, and some other minor accomplishments. Although I was born almost twenty-nine years ago, I can say that I've only truly LIVED for minutes...maybe less than twenty minutes. It's a sad reality, but I think knowing that and realizing that I WANT to LIVE more, will make me appreciate more moments and help me feel like I have a purpose and a reason to LIVE.

I'm very excited for this series and I look foward to working towards being the best version of me that I can be.

Ephesians 2:10:
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Say It Ain't So!!!

Britney's first single ("Don't Hold It Against Me") off her new album (due out in March) is coming Tuesday January 11th! I may or may not be a weee bit excited! Maybe THIS is her come back?

Babies.

A couple days ago, Megan, an old friend of mine had a baby. At a time when I would have typically been a part of this celebration, I was instead hearing of the event from a mutual friend. Although at first I played it off as though I could care less that she was about to deliver, the truth is I was super excited for her and a bit sad that I wasn't partaking in the celebration. We started out as enemies in middle school, but late into our high school years we became close. After high school she and I would grow even closer, and she would introduce me to my ex (and now, best friend), Brandon whom I was with for many years. Megan and I always had a rocky relationship. We always had trust issues and we always seemed to brew up some kind of conflict between each other...usually over the most ridiculous things. Last year we had another blow up and basically wrote each other off. We haven't spoken since March.

Megan was there for me during one of the hardest times of my life. Although I probably never told her, I appreciated her SO much and I felt SO blessed to have her friendship. Megan helped me "figure out" my faith and encouraged my walk with Christ. She laughed with me when I told her how ridiculous I felt crying in church, and admitted that she too had moments like that! She and I had more good times together than not...and I hope she can remember those times as well.

I am so excited for Megan and Stephen and their new little addition. They will be great parents...God willing Megan has cleaned out her car (hehehehe!)! I am hopeful that in the future she and I will be able to rekindle some level of friendship.

Mumble Jumble

I somehow managed to duplicate over 80% of my contacts twenty-four times each. I now have over 4,000 contacts in my phone. I will now have to restore the phone to it's factory settings and run a backup from October of last year, losing anything I've aquired since then. Ugh.

It's snowing. Ugh.

Did you know all vehicles have rear brakes? For some reason I was thinking that you only had rear brakes if you had AWD or 4WD. I looked like an idiot when I came to this realization in front of friends today. Ugh.

Aaron and his mom fly in tomorrow to spend the weekend with the kids. They're going to Indy and plan to visit the Children's Museum. The kids are SO excited to spend a weekend in a hotel. I, on the other hand, find the thought of it exhausting and disgusting. Ugh.

I've been participating in a 12-Week fitness challenge at work for the past three days. I've lost .6 pounds so far (hehehe) and am excited to continue losing...even if I catch grief about it from co-workers! Hey, girls can always afford to lose some weight, right? Ugh!

My house is still in shambles from the holidays. I have put off taking the Christmas decorations (and tree) to the attic. The last time (and only time) I went to the attic I was scared senseless and made my toddlers cheer me on from below! This sounded like a good project for this weekend since I'll be kidless, but then who would cheer me on? Ugh.

Overall it's been a great week (with the exception of all the above "ugh's"). The kids had a different dress-up day each day this week. Anderson nearly puked at the idea of wearing mismatched clothes or wearing a shirt backwards for Crazy Clothes day. He thought it was ridiculous, and I can't say that I blame him! Lilly, however LOVED it! She picked out her own outfit for the day and had a blast mismatching her clothes! (She did a great job at it, I should mention!) Tomorrow is Crazy Sock day. Lilly is so excited to FINALLY wear her Hello Kitty socks that I forbid her to wear on normal occasions!!!

kenny chesney - somewhere with you

For you.

Oh yeah, time to mother again.

So Christmas was an absolute blur (with the exception of receiving my Michael Kors bag, of course!). Having a split family it makes it difficult on everyone. I decided that next year the kids and I will probably skip the extended-family Christmas and just go to my parents' houses to celebrate. It's more than enough!
The day after Christmas, we celebrated baby Andy's third birthday! It was just a simple party, with cake and ice cream and a few gifts! Again, staying the night at mom's after a long Christmas day just isn't my forte' and I've decided that Anderson's birthday parties will be held at OUR house from here on out. After spending thirty minutes unloading the mini-toy store from the back of the Murano into my kitchen, and then the following two days finding homes for the slew of gifts, I realized that not only is my house too small, but I also have very spoiled children! Hehehe!
Aaron and his brother came for a visit on the 26th. My house was still in shambles and adding two more people to the mix just threw what little zen I had completely out of wack! Anderson was sick from the 24th until today (and even today is still filled with thick green snot..YUMMY!). Aaron stayed home with the kids on Monday and Tuesday while I worked. I came home both days to a yummy dinner, clean (and happy) kids, and essentially nothing to do. He put them to bed both days, woke up with them both mornings, etc. It was heavenly!
I woke up this morning to Anderson whimpering at my bedside. It hit me like a ton of bricks..."Oh yeah, time to mother again. I'm back on!" LOL!
The break was fantastic and I appreciate the time away from the little munchkins, but at the end of the day I'm ready to be their number one again!