Perspective

I'm ashamed of myself that it takes something so tragic to put things into perspective for me. I had been having a pretty crappy day, mostly self-induced. I found myself pouting, crying even, and just thinking about how "my life was over" because of something so trivial.
JM found out today that beginning in July he would be based permanently in Grand Rapids, after just admitting to me days earlier that he had decided he wanted to be a "traveler" for our company. After learning from his boss that traveling full-time was not an option, JM had no other choice but to take a new role, based in his hometown of GR. You're probably wondering why this was such a tragedy for me....Well, with JM on the road, it allowed more time for him to visit me in FTW. Things had been going well for us. We had been spending more time together, talking daily, and just really enjoying each other's company. Truth be told, things probably hadn't changed on JM's end of things; he still was enjoying his life as a single man, with no plans of settling down with me and the kids. Fair enough. But for whatever reason, I saw our friendship as progress toward a fresh start. After he told me his news today, I found myself in a self-pity, depressed, whoa-is-me mood. I thought of all the things that we wouldn't be doing together anymore. I thought of how preoccupied he'd be with his GR life, and how I would (once again) become just something from the past...a girl he randomly saw and talked to, someone he once loved, someone who just didn't measure up to what he really wanted in life. Ouch. These are all very self-deprecating thoughts, yet ones that I battle with often (but that's a whole other post).
I texted a dear friend of mine, Amanda, claiming "I hate life"...to which she responded "me too." This was an odd response from her, so I knew instantly that something was really wrong. Come to find out, Amanda just lost her grandpa tonight. After discovering in mid-May that he had a large mass in his lungs, her grandpa had been battling with cancer, less than two years after losing his wife in a horrific car accident. Amanda had been dealing with her grandma's sudden death ever since I knew her, and learning that her grandpa was now dying was more than anyone should have to endure.
I just realize tonight that my "issues" with JM are completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. I have JM's friendship, he's healthy, my kids are healthy and happy, and life is good for the most part. Sure JM and I aren't together, but I still have him in my life. Nothing tragic has happened to make me "hate life"...And it's time I start recognizing that life is entirely too short to live it wishing things were different.