Home. Sweet. Hotel.

Since I took quite a long break from blogging, I should go back in time. 2010 has been AMAZING and I can't leave out the most exciting part of my year-- buying my first home!!!
I spoke with a mortgage company (the mortgage company from HELL, by the way!), got a realtor, and started looking at homes. I guess I never TRULY thought I'd buy a home, but I kept pushing through. I looked at probably twelve to fifteen homes before finding "my" house! Although my house didn't have the requirements that I thought were most important to me (fenced-in backyard and a 4th bedroom/second living area), the house fit the main requirements for the kids and me. I saw potential in the house, for sure.
From the time I put the offer on the home, May 20th, until the day I closed on the house, July 26th, things were less than perfect for me and the kids! At the end of June, the kids and I moved out of the home we had been renting. When my offer was accepted, the mortgage company assured me that we would be into the new home at the beginning of July. Clearly one thing after another caused us to be "homeless" for almost an entire month. We literally stayed for three weeks at the Hyatt Place (thanks to my DEAR FRIEND, CLIFF..who donated a TON of his points so we wouldn't have to pay for the hotel). The mortgage company ended up paying for a week and a half of the hotel, after trying to put us up at horrific hotels (Marriott, Comfort Suites). In the end, my complaining prevailed and we ended up back at the Hyatt Place!!

We ate meals on the couch, slept together in one bed, fought about who got to sleep on which side, etc. My crazy phobias were out in full force. I panicked about the kids touching the couch, I was grossed out when they walked on the carpet without shoes, I dry-heaved when Anderson touched the toilet with his bare little hands. Even though the Hyatt Place was beyond nice, I couldn't help but be a little crazy during those three weeks.
My anxiety, which I had never experienced to this magnitude, was causing me to have migraines. I was always upset, fighting with the mortgage company, and just questioning if this was all a sign that I wasn't supposed to get my house. My stress level got so out of control that I spent the better half of a workday in the ER, with stroke-like symptoms. It was TERRIBLE, to say the least.
Everyone kept telling me that once I got into my new house, I would forget all this bad stuff. Truth is, I haven't forgotten one detail of those three weeks...but I'd go through it all again if it meant having my own home in the end. I LOVE my house and I LOVE that it's all MINE!!!!!!!!

86'ing Dining Out

Traditionally New Years resolutions come on January 1st, but my resolution is beginning today. With the change of the month comes the ban on dining out for me and the kids. Not only is it insanely unhealthy (and stressful with two small kids), but my budget just won't allow it anymore. I get paid once a month. After paying this month's bills (and alloting extra money for Christmas gifts), we cannot afford the normal weekly trips to our favorite local mexican restaraunt. Booo!!! I am also nixing my lunchtime trips to McDonalds and other nearby establishments. In an attempt to assure the success of this veto, I have enlisted the help of my co-workers.
I have noticed that I've started to put on some extra poundage. Although I'd like to consider it resourceful, ya know extra layering for the cold temperatures, I realize that I'm very unhappy with my body right now as I feel myself ballooning into a near-pregnancy weight! (Wow, I really just put that all out there, huh?!) I realized I had two choices...either the wine or the burgers! Buh bye burgers, CHEERS!

Wish me luck as I embark on this dine-at-home journey...who knows, maybe I'll actually learn to cook?! BAHAHAHAHA! Let's not go that far!!!

Happy Valentimes?

At what age do children learn that holidays are a time of truce? There is no fighting on holidays. Did my mini-turkeys just miss this memo or what?! I woke up to Lilly screaming, "I need a Kleenex." Followed by Anderson screaming, "I'm hungry!" Really? 6:15am. A short time later, our normal morning routine began, including the typical bickering between the two tykes. UUUUGH! Then, the chaotic bantering about the holiday began:
Lilly: Mom, it's Valentime's day right?
Anderson: It's not Valentine's, it's Thanskgiving.
Lilly: Nu uh!
Anderson: Uh huh!
Lilly: NO!
Anderson: YES!
Me: REALLY?!!!!!!! You guys! It's THANSKGIVING! You can't fight on Thanksgiving!
They both went back to their ridiculous argument. I feel like my ears will literally fall off from all the chaos the two of them produce from bickering with each other.

Something to look forward to...

Well, after an extended hiatus I am happy to announce that I will soon be returning to my blogging life. In just one short week I will be finished with my bachelor's degree in liberal arts. I am SO very excited and I am looking forward to being able to write again (for fun, rather than for a grade!). Although these past eleven months of schooling have flown by, I will be happy to see it come to an end. If I never log on to Blackboard again, it'll be too soon!
I will post pictures of the other projects I have been working on, including the changes I've made to the house. 2010 has been an AWESOME year and I cannot WAIT for 2011. I am hoping for all this goodness to continue!

Stay tuned for more blogging!!!

"HUH? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!?"

I've noticed lately that I'm really loud. I've noticed lately that Anderson is even LOUDER. Oh. My. Gosh. That boy. I first noticed how much noise this little man produced while at the airport last weekend. I was literally two gates away and I could hear word-for-word the conversation Anderson was having with his uncle. Thinking that it was probably just the excitement of the flight, I basically overlooked it and ignored the annoyed stares from those around us (errrr, in a two hundred yard radius).
Last night I went to dinner with the kids, mom, and Grandpa. I noticed that Grandpa was hearing every word that Anderson was saying, which doesn't typically happen. And then the more I looked around, the more I saw other people staring at my human megaphone. Uh oh. My son IS loud! Crap!

Am I back to square one?

The kids just got home from a week-long visit with their dad in Minnesota. After sobbing on my closet floor until 1am the night before they left, I woke up with swollen eyes and an angry heart. My kids shouldn't have to travel across the country to see their dad. They shouldn't have to be away from school for a week at a time because their dad lives in a different state. They shouldn't have to pack their favorite toys and items just because their dad doesn't have these things at his house, in another state, across the country. As I looked at my (smiling) kids, waving from the windows of their dad's fancy BMW, it hit me. My kids aren't suffering. They aren't mad to be driving across country. They aren't upset about packing up their belongings for a week, or even missing school. The reality is that I'M mad. I'm still SO angry, a year later, that Aaron lives so far away. Those of you who know me well know that I have no romantic connection to Aaron, nor do I want to be with him again. While there will ALWAYS be a soft spot in my heart for Aaron, as the father of my children, my love for him as a life partner has passed. I've made myself very open to his manipulation, lies, and well to be frank, his bullshit for far too long. When I think of what I want in a husband, Aaron does not have those qualities. Soooo where does this anger come from? I laid in bed last night contemplating this...knowing that I had read something earlier this year that had (temporarily) helped me. I pulled out the book and flipped to the page:
June 26
Forgiveness can be just a change of attitude. When I realized my bitterness hurt me more than anyone else, I began to search for another way to view my situation. I will not allow old resentments to drag me down any longer. I am building a beetter and more loving life today.

I read, and re-read these words, knowing that this had nothing to do with Aaron. This has everything to do with ME. No matter how badly Aaron has hurt me, how terrible the choices are that he makes, etc...these no longer affect ME. I have come so far in the last year, including finding a job I love, a daycare/school the kids love, finishing my degree, and buying my first home, to allow my bitterness to drag me back to square one.


"Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt."

Random Update

There is truly nothing better than waking up to the birds chirping, the sun shining, and your son saying, “Mommy, I pooped!” Although it may not be a typical wake-up call for many people, it’s pretty common for my two year old to wake me up discussing the status of his bowels. And I’m okay with that!

Church was amazing, of course. Those twenty minutes of worship at the beginning of each service just gets my blood pumping every week! Of course, the gorgeous Kirk-(from this season’s Bachelorette)-look-alike sitting in the isle across from me didn’t hurt either! This gorgeous creature, not wearing a wedding-ring, was wearing the most adorable turquoise plaid shirt with perfect fitting jeans. He clearly spent way too much time on his hair, but it looked fantastic! Haha! But, what are the chances that an eligible bachelor was sitting at church alone? And even if he was available, how would I ever spark up a conversation with him? It’d go something like, “Hey? I see you dig Jesus too!” Oh, I’m lame!

After picking up my kids from daycare, I announced to them that we would be having beef and noodles for dinner (HOMEMADE!)! The instant we pulled into the garage, we could smell the delicious beef cooking in the crock pot. My daughter walked into the house, plugged her nose and screamed, “I HATE beef and noodles. They smell soooo bad!” She walked around with her nose plugged for the better of an hour—and had a jelly sandwich for dinner. Oy!