We're a Catch!

As a newly single (ugh, has it REALLY been over six months?) gal, I have some darling friends who try to set me up with their friends from work, or church, or heck even their relatives. I had a friend the other day ask me why I'm always so quick to point out that I have two kids...like that I use that as a stopping point for even agreeing to meet someone.  "First off," she snapped, "of course we know you have kids! Secondly, why do you think that EVERY guy is a tool and can't handle that?!" Here's my thing, it's not that I don't think someone could handle it. It's not like my kids are delinquents (that often). I just wonder why any single kidless (normal) guy would want to mess with a pre-made family. Trust me, it's not because I don't think I'm a catch (in that I have my crap together-ish, I am independent, and am perfectly fine without someone's love and attention!) and that my kids are A-MAZ-BALLS. I just know that no one's ideal situation is to meet a girl with two kids and fall madly in love with her. Fairy tails just ain't written that way folks! Let's be honest! But something I'm learning to embrace is that anyone would be lucky to be a part of my life, and would be even luckier to be a part of my kids' lives, and it's time I show that on the outside and not just keep that bottled up in my own mind.  

Looking back, I see how easily JM left me, and even more, how easily he left the kids. Although he didn't have a responsibility to them, and he didn't owe them anything, it makes me a little sad to think that the person I honest-to-goodness thought I would MARRY (still makes my stomach hurt to admit that) walked away from my kids without so much as an explanation or a goodbye. It makes me doubt my own judgement in people. I put JM on the highest pedestal imaginable, and to think that he could walk away so easily makes me really disappointed in myself and my own judgement. It took me YEARS to even get to this point with someone since Aaron. It took me three years to get to the point that I felt someone was worth introducing to my kids and to our day-to-day lives. I have zero regrets that I let JM into that side of my world, but I would be lying if I said I don't hate him a little bit for coming in and then leaving so easily, knowing my concerns with it to begin with. 

With that said, I don't want to write off every human being with man parts just because I am currently jaded by my last relationship! The pain and the feelings from that relationship will continue to fade. My strength, confidence, and self-esteem will keep creeping higher and higher. My fears of being left, hurt, and rejected will dwindle more and more everyday. The faith I once had in men will come back, because I will learn that not all men leave, and that perhaps there is that rare breed who sees me and my kids just as we truly are. We're quite an awesome bunch, and truth be told, anyone would be lucky to be a part of OUR family. It's unfortunate that JM missed out on all that. 

It's Okay Monday...

It's okay....

...to not hate Mondays. 

...to be looking forward to getting the work week started. 

...to already have plans for the week the kids are in MN. 

...to have the same t-shirt in five different colors. 

...to be counting down the days to a beach vacay. 

...to be needy sometimes. 

...to want a little extra attention from your new boy crush. 

...to DVR The Hills on #RetroMTV. 

...to sneak in and take your daughter's iPod to listen to her music (hello Demi Lovato!). 

...to plan outfits around a new bottle of nail polish. 

...to secretly hate yourself for not stepping foot in the gym since before your last beach vacation. 

...to hate it when other people don't use their iMessage. 

...to be obsessed with reading...anything. 

...to tear up when your daughter reads out of "chapter books" before bed. She's growing up too fast. 

...to be just as excited about your son's tennis lessons as he is! 

...to be the first person on the dance company's website today so your daughter can get the ONLY class that will fit into your family's schedule. 

Personal Resume

Have you ever considered what your personal resume would look like? We've all made a professional resume, but what if you put your top personality characteristics into a resume for someone else to view? I thought about this briefly tonight and thought about how ridiculous mine would look...and here's what I came up with!!!

Andersonisms Vol. 3

My young tot has provided me with so many laughs lately. In fact, I had to start writing them down because I knew that most of his recent comments were blog-worthy! Here are the latest Andersonisms.

• So I just had my landscaping done (love it, by the way), and had straw laid down over the newly planted grass. Anderson pointed out: "Good things hens don't come around here because they make their house out of straw." Thaaaank you Anderson. 
• "Mom when I grow up I want to be a prisoner!" (he said very proudly, by the way). PARDON ME?! A PRISONER?! "Yeah, I want to be the prisoner of the United States."                            Ummm you mean PRESIDENT? "Yeah, that's what I said! I want to be the prisoner!"                                        Oy! Please pray that the boy meant PRESIDENT!
• We all love Gotye's song "Somebody that I used to know"...or if you're Anderson, you love "Some BUBBY that I used to know!" Also note worthy is "But you didn't have to cut me UP" (rather than "cut me out")!!! 
• And this one just kinda made me smile because the poor kid is ALWAAAYS around so many girls, but the other night we were talking about hanging out at Nana's house and he said "I like it when there are three boys at Nana's. You know, like when Murphy and Pa-Paw are there too! That's better!" He sure loves his Pa-Paw!
• In an attempt to delay bedtime..."Mom, do you know how baby kangaroos get out of their mommy's pouch? They just jump in the pouch and then they poop out. Isn't that silly? And kinda gross too, isn't it?!" Maybe we'll stay away from the zoo for awhile! 
• And out of nowhere yesterday, as we were driving...."Just think, if you drove a motorcycle you couldn't have an ice cream cone. Well unless your house was really close to the ice cream place, then you could, huh?" 
• "Did you know that sesame seeds on buns are really just the same seeds from inside watermelons?"

July 2017

Have you ever written a five year plan? Neither had I. I mean sure I used to write in my diary when I was thirteen and dream about who would be in my wedding when I married Jeremy Martin (!), but those days have since passed and here I was, without a plan. Talking about doing something, and actually holding yourself accountable for those things are completely different. I've been making these grand plans in my mind for years, constantly changing them depending on my mood that day!

Last week I had a day off (I swear it was my last PTO day for the fiscal year!!!), and I spent nearly four and a half hours creating a five year plan. It was way harder than I thought it was going to be! When I first talked to my old worship pastor about it, I was thinking that I'd just create a quick Excel spreadsheet to include all the things I wanted to do and how I was going to get there. Two problems with that...I hate excel and I had no clue where to start.  So I did what I do best...I wrote about it! I found a new notebook, my favorite purple Sharpie pen, ordered a giant green tea from Starbucks, and sat outside and started writing. I had no idea that my first hurdle would be to plan a way of eliminating all debt. As someone who HAAAATES the word "budget" and haaaaates even more the budgeting-lifestyle, I knew that in order to get to my final goals, I was going to have to make some major changes!

I suppose my main goal is to move out of Fort Wayne. Ever since I visited my brother in Charlotte, NC...many years ago...I've always wanted to live in the South. With my company constantly opening new campuses in different states, I am keeping my fingers crossed that within the next five years, I can transfer to a new campus in either the Carolina's, Tennessee, or another southern state. Some people know they are destined for the "big city" life, but me...I know that me and the kids are southern-state-of-mind folks. I've always been attracted to ways of the South, and I honestly feel like we are meant to be there. People even ask me sometimes where my accent is from! They're always so disappointed when I tell them Wabash, Indiana! LOL!

Five years is a long time from now, I realize that. So much can happen within the next five years. Maybe I won't even be working for the same company anymore (hopefully that's not the case). Or maybe I'll be married within the next five years (hopefully that's not the case!!). Or maybe something else will prevent me from moving to a different state. All I know is that right now, I am working toward something. For the first time, since I was thirteen at least, I took the time to write down my goals. I set deadlines for myself and I set short-term goals along the way. I have shown my five year plan to only one person, but I am confident that he will hold me accountable for these mini-milestones along the way. Writing these plans out, and determining steps to get to these goals was emotionally draining. If you had asked me twelve months ago what my five year plan was, it sure as heck would have looked a lot different. But things are what they are. We just have to figure out ways to roll with it. I'm so incredibly grateful to be where I am and to be surrounded by so many blessings. I'd be a fool to focus on what I don't have or worry about where I'm not at. 


It is what it is and I'm so ready to move forward. Here's to July 2017!!