A couple weeks ago, my mom sent me an email with a few fitting quotes for the type of day I had been having. Above is one of those quotes, and hopefully today my mom will read it and know that I'm sending it HER way because I know she needs it just as much as I did.
My grandma is very sick. Most of us didn't think she'd still be here today, but thankfully she's still holding on. Perhaps it's selfish of me to be grateful that she is still here, I don't know? I know she's not happy. She's in a lot of pain. And worse of all, she's scared. I never want her to suffer, but I don't want her to leave me either.
Grandma Anglin isn't your typical grandma. Of course she always had the cookie jar filled, like everyone's grandma did, but that aside, she was so much more than most grandmas. (I use past tense because of the state that she's now in--- she's not the Grandma we grew up knowing, and I don't mean that in a negative way...just, things are different now.) Our grandma cared deeply about our every need. She made sure we had everything we could possibly need (or NOT need!). She was the social butterfly of Wabash.
I remember my Grandpa and her taking Adam and I downtown to the Sweet Shop. Not only were we lucky because of the "green rivers" the Sweet Shop served, but also because we were in the spotlight because we were with Bob and Donna Anglin! Everyone knew them and loved them. What was there NOT to love about Donna!?
I remember taking my middle school friends (the 7Up Gang, yeah, that's right!) to their house to swim every summer. Grandma would come out and just chat it up with each and every girl to be sure that we had everything we needed to have a great time at her house. She never turned away anyone! The more the merrier was her motto when it came to having visitors!
My memories of Grandma are endless. And like my mom, I just pray to God that I remember them forever. I look back now at our days with her before she got sick and just try to grasp onto those memories of what she was wearing, saying, doing, etc... Sure she was goofy at times, and sure she was sometimes embarrassing, but that's what made her "Grandma"! I can't imagine her any other way!
I'm very blessed that Lilly knows her GiGi. It sickens me to know that Anderson will never know her like Lilly got to. I think back to when I found out I was pregnant with Lilly. Grandma knew LONG before Grandpa did and the best thing about it was that I never felt judged by her. Grandma, whether she meant it or not, always put on a happy face when she talked to me about being pregnant. I'll never forget what she told me near the end of my pregnancy...."Hunny, enjoy being pregnant. It's a lot easier to raise them in there than it is out here!" (Boy was she right!) I'm not sure how much of GiGi Lilly will remember, but I know it's my duty to carry her legacy on. It's my duty to remind Lilly how much her GiGi loved her, how much she loved when she backed her little butt up to Grandma, and how many times she made Grandpa take her to WalMart to buy dolls for her house so Lilly had something to play with. Even now, in the state Grandma is in, she asks about "her Lilly". I pray that Lilly's visits help Grandma to be at peace with her life.
If I could let Grandma know anything, I'd tell her what an incredible job she did raising her daughters....I'd tell her that I'm so lucky to have a mom like I do and an aunt like I do. I'd thank her for showing MY mom how to be an amazing mother. I'm scared to death at how my family will adapt without Grandma, but I know we'll survive because my grandparents instilled the value of family in us.
So Mom, just know that we'll always remember everything about Grandma. She's been such an influential person in our lives, how could we ever forget? Be grateful that we lived so close to them and we had the chance to see them as often as we did, for we have memories that no one could even imagine having. And even when she's not here for us to see, smell, or hold, she'll always be in our hearts.
I love you Mom.
5 comments:
that was so moving. donna welcomed me into your family from day one without question and for that (among other things) i'll always be grateful.
Gretchen be blessed with the memories of your grandmother...you have been lucky to have her in your life. Enjoy the time that you have left with her and remember she will know when it is time. I too have had a chance to reflect today on the importance of family. Enjoy your family while you can and make the most out of each day.
dad
wow. i just now am getting around to reading this. i'm sitting here with tears pouring out my eyes. thanks for writing such a meaningful, special tribute about our grandma.
Here it is July 18th and I'm just now reading this! I have always liked both Bob and Donna but there was just something about your Grandma. When Adam would take us out there to swim Donna would always come outside to make sure everyone had what they needed. She made sure we knew where the bathroom was and of course the fridge practically filled with any kind of pop you could imagine and tons of ice cream from the Schwann man! She is an awesome Mother/Grandmother and you guys are so blessed to have her in your lives.
Kelly
Wow I'm late to read this. I didn't know your grandmother but I just heard some really awesome things about her from Barry. You are a beautiful and brilliant writer and through your words I can imagine the wonder woman your grandmother is. Keep your head up. You and your family are always in my prayers.
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