Changes

It seems there's been a recent tornado of change swirling right in the middle of my being and all I can do is hold on and hope things twist out the way they're intended. With my recent decision to go back to school comes a lot of stress that I never imagined. After a mid-May event (that I'll keep private!), I decided that the only way I was ever going to be prepared for things in my life (or BETTER prepared) was to start taking things into my OWN hands and not be so reliant on other people.
So for that reason, along with others, I decided to finish up my degree at IPFW. Although I was completely apprehensive about going back to school at the age of 26, I have adjusted nicely (although tiredly) and have actually met a few good people in my classes whom I already consider "good" friends. I've heard from many people in my family how proud they are of me for going back and it just worries me that maybe I let them down in the past when I DIDN'T finish, and for that, I'm disappointed in myself. However, it's time to look towards the future and stop reflecting on the past.
I've definitely done things in my life chronologically-backwards but I can HONESTLY say that there's nothing in my life I would change up to this point. I'm truly starting to realize that everything happens for a reason. There have been people in my life who I never imagined being there. There are those who are NOT in my life, who I could have never imagined life without. However, I'm a better person today than I've ever been before. Sure there are so many changes left to be made, but knowing that I now have goals and aspirations, I'm confident that my life is headed for greatness.
This isn't just about going back to school. For me, this is about taking the role of being a mother, and doing whatever physically, mentally, and emotionally necessary to achieve perfection for my children. I honestly can say that I now know that "mother's intuition" is a completely accurate and real trait. It's not one of those things that you either have or don't have. When you're a mother, a MOM, you just have it, and there's nothing you'd do to get rid of it.