"The Miracle"

I was just asked, "do you not see the miracle that has come from all of this?" And just so that I don't forget, I'm posting all the miracles that have come from this situation (which I will leave unnamed) so that anytime I am questioning myself or my life, I can go back and read this blog and remind myself.

I've said it in previous blogs and I'll say it again, I am probably the last person on earth who deserves to love a job as much as I love mine. Sure, there are days that I would rather spend my time in jammies, lounging with the kiddies, but NEVER in the past nine months, has there been a day that I haven't been grateful to be working. I love my job. I love what I do and I love that through my job I am able to help other people improve their lives. That's huge. (So perhaps that's two miracles in one?!)

My kids. I have been the sole provider for eight of the eleven past months. I don't say this to toot my own horn, because I know there are plenty of other women doing the same thing everyday, but I say it to remind myself that I am doing great things not only for myself, but also for my kids. I am a better, happier, healthier person than I was a year ago. And I have myself to thank for that.

One of the biggest blessings I have encountered in the past year has been my faith. I've always believed in God, but I've never truly tried living His word. I never took the time to reflect on my life and how it measures up to the way I am expected to live. Faith is something that confuses me at times, but its also there pulling me through the tough times and leading me through the good times. Without my faith, I doubt I would have gotten myself to the point where I am in my life now. Sure, I have many more miles to go before I can fully understand (if ever) the magnitude that God plays in my life, but I am now willing to open my mind to that idea, and work to improve my ways of living to honor Him.

Going back to school was really a no-brainer for me. If I was truly going to do this on my own, then I needed to finish things I had started in the past. School was my main hiccup in my past...as much as I wanted to finish, I just never did it. Deciding to go to IWU wasn't hard at all. I heard my dad talk about the impact it was having on his life, and I was seeing the joy it was bringing to his life, and after a quick email to my aunt, I was basically set. Three weeks later, I was starting classes at IWU, and five weeks after that I finished my first class with a 97% (woot woot!)!

Sure, I have a lot on my plate...but again, I know I'm not the first person to take on these responsibilities all at once. I'm not writing this blog to brag or complain about the life I have. I know I am fortunate, trust me. I know I've been insanely blessed to have two healthy children, an amazingly supportive family, and incredibly loving friends. I know all that. But there are days where I just look around and get pissed off because it doesn't seem fair. There are days I want to just be pissed off at the world, at God, and everyone...because I just don't feel like I can go on. But now I'm going to be able to come back to this blog and read all the miracles that have been laid out in front of me in the past year...and I will feel blessed to be living this life.