Happy Valentimes?

At what age do children learn that holidays are a time of truce? There is no fighting on holidays. Did my mini-turkeys just miss this memo or what?! I woke up to Lilly screaming, "I need a Kleenex." Followed by Anderson screaming, "I'm hungry!" Really? 6:15am. A short time later, our normal morning routine began, including the typical bickering between the two tykes. UUUUGH! Then, the chaotic bantering about the holiday began:
Lilly: Mom, it's Valentime's day right?
Anderson: It's not Valentine's, it's Thanskgiving.
Lilly: Nu uh!
Anderson: Uh huh!
Lilly: NO!
Anderson: YES!
Me: REALLY?!!!!!!! You guys! It's THANSKGIVING! You can't fight on Thanksgiving!
They both went back to their ridiculous argument. I feel like my ears will literally fall off from all the chaos the two of them produce from bickering with each other.

Something to look forward to...

Well, after an extended hiatus I am happy to announce that I will soon be returning to my blogging life. In just one short week I will be finished with my bachelor's degree in liberal arts. I am SO very excited and I am looking forward to being able to write again (for fun, rather than for a grade!). Although these past eleven months of schooling have flown by, I will be happy to see it come to an end. If I never log on to Blackboard again, it'll be too soon!
I will post pictures of the other projects I have been working on, including the changes I've made to the house. 2010 has been an AWESOME year and I cannot WAIT for 2011. I am hoping for all this goodness to continue!

Stay tuned for more blogging!!!

"HUH? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!?"

I've noticed lately that I'm really loud. I've noticed lately that Anderson is even LOUDER. Oh. My. Gosh. That boy. I first noticed how much noise this little man produced while at the airport last weekend. I was literally two gates away and I could hear word-for-word the conversation Anderson was having with his uncle. Thinking that it was probably just the excitement of the flight, I basically overlooked it and ignored the annoyed stares from those around us (errrr, in a two hundred yard radius).
Last night I went to dinner with the kids, mom, and Grandpa. I noticed that Grandpa was hearing every word that Anderson was saying, which doesn't typically happen. And then the more I looked around, the more I saw other people staring at my human megaphone. Uh oh. My son IS loud! Crap!

Am I back to square one?

The kids just got home from a week-long visit with their dad in Minnesota. After sobbing on my closet floor until 1am the night before they left, I woke up with swollen eyes and an angry heart. My kids shouldn't have to travel across the country to see their dad. They shouldn't have to be away from school for a week at a time because their dad lives in a different state. They shouldn't have to pack their favorite toys and items just because their dad doesn't have these things at his house, in another state, across the country. As I looked at my (smiling) kids, waving from the windows of their dad's fancy BMW, it hit me. My kids aren't suffering. They aren't mad to be driving across country. They aren't upset about packing up their belongings for a week, or even missing school. The reality is that I'M mad. I'm still SO angry, a year later, that Aaron lives so far away. Those of you who know me well know that I have no romantic connection to Aaron, nor do I want to be with him again. While there will ALWAYS be a soft spot in my heart for Aaron, as the father of my children, my love for him as a life partner has passed. I've made myself very open to his manipulation, lies, and well to be frank, his bullshit for far too long. When I think of what I want in a husband, Aaron does not have those qualities. Soooo where does this anger come from? I laid in bed last night contemplating this...knowing that I had read something earlier this year that had (temporarily) helped me. I pulled out the book and flipped to the page:
June 26
Forgiveness can be just a change of attitude. When I realized my bitterness hurt me more than anyone else, I began to search for another way to view my situation. I will not allow old resentments to drag me down any longer. I am building a beetter and more loving life today.

I read, and re-read these words, knowing that this had nothing to do with Aaron. This has everything to do with ME. No matter how badly Aaron has hurt me, how terrible the choices are that he makes, etc...these no longer affect ME. I have come so far in the last year, including finding a job I love, a daycare/school the kids love, finishing my degree, and buying my first home, to allow my bitterness to drag me back to square one.


"Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt."

Random Update

There is truly nothing better than waking up to the birds chirping, the sun shining, and your son saying, “Mommy, I pooped!” Although it may not be a typical wake-up call for many people, it’s pretty common for my two year old to wake me up discussing the status of his bowels. And I’m okay with that!

Church was amazing, of course. Those twenty minutes of worship at the beginning of each service just gets my blood pumping every week! Of course, the gorgeous Kirk-(from this season’s Bachelorette)-look-alike sitting in the isle across from me didn’t hurt either! This gorgeous creature, not wearing a wedding-ring, was wearing the most adorable turquoise plaid shirt with perfect fitting jeans. He clearly spent way too much time on his hair, but it looked fantastic! Haha! But, what are the chances that an eligible bachelor was sitting at church alone? And even if he was available, how would I ever spark up a conversation with him? It’d go something like, “Hey? I see you dig Jesus too!” Oh, I’m lame!

After picking up my kids from daycare, I announced to them that we would be having beef and noodles for dinner (HOMEMADE!)! The instant we pulled into the garage, we could smell the delicious beef cooking in the crock pot. My daughter walked into the house, plugged her nose and screamed, “I HATE beef and noodles. They smell soooo bad!” She walked around with her nose plugged for the better of an hour—and had a jelly sandwich for dinner. Oy!

Is it possible....

...that Lilly's voice has changed in the past three days? The kids called this evening to fill me in on their daily events (okay, not really...truth is, I sent Aaron a threatening text that if he didn't have the kids call me I was driving to MN tonight to pick them up!). Lilly was talking like a teenager.
Lilly: "Yes mom? Daddy said we had to call you!"
Me: "EXCUSE ME? You didn't WANT to call me?"
Lilly: "We were playing. I called you now though."
Me: "Geesh, well thanks! So what are you guys doing?"
Lilly: "We're going on the rollercoaster."
Me: "EXCUSE ME??? ROLLERCOASTER? Where's your dad? Let me talk to you dad!"
Lilly (with Aaron in the background prompting): "You need to chill out Mom! We're going to the mall rollercoaster!"
Me: "OOOOOH!"

I'm having a really hard time with the kids being gone, as I mentioned before! I'm sure it's a control thing (even though I'm not controlling AT ALL! Teheheh!)...but I just HATE the idea of not knowing what they're doing, eating, wearing, saying, etc...I trust Aaron 10000% with the kids, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm the mama and I do it better! LOL!

I'm BOOOOORED

Remember when you were a kid and you would be bored two days into summer vacation? You were SOOOO excited for summer to come and you just couldn't WAIT for the break...but then when it came down to it, you sat there with your siblings and thought "well, what are we gonna do now?!" I remember my mom saying "If you're bored I can find something for you to do!" Ugh! In my adult life, I'm experiencing the same "bored" feelings.
The kids left Sunday for MN for a week-long visit with their Dad. I was SUPER excited for the break and REALLY excited for the kids! I thought of all the stuff I could get done with the kids away for the week. I thought about the tan I'd work on, the cleaning I'd get done, the dinners I'd make for myself, etc...yyyyyeah none of that stuff has happened! Ha! It's the second full day of the kids' vacation and I'm bored out of my mind! I can't figure out what's more pathetic--- the fact that my two toddlers provide my source of entertainment or that I'm not enjoying my alone time!
Not only have I NOT made dinner for myself, but I've ordered carryout twice now! So in addition to my unhealthy eating habits, I have also put a significant dent in my monthly food budget! Whoops! I haven't tanned at all yet because by the time I get off work I think about how awesome it would be to go home and do NOTHING...which turns into me laying on the couch for about thirty minutes, watching the latest episode of Judge Judy, and then caving in to my cravings for take-out Chinese or B'dubs! Again, WHOOPS! The sheets from the kids' beds are still laying in the hallway in front of the washing machine. I really did have high hopes for my week...but I've just failed miserably.
In all seriousness, I miss my kids like crazy. I can't believe I thought I'd be okay for a whole week without them! LOL! They are the best thing in my life. Truly. Not seeing their little faces everyday makes my heart hurt. I CANNOT WAIT to see them Saturday!
*Here's to hoping that feeling lasts through Sunday! LOL!*