Swooper (I'm sure it's a word!)

I've never given my mom enough credit. For anything. But, with my kids' mini-vacation to MN this week, I'm realizing something in not only my own kids, but in myself and my siblings.

My parents divorced when I was about eight. Back then (ya know, the olden days), divorce wasn't AS common as it is today. Single-parent families were in the developmental stages and there were many more struggles than in today's world. My mom did everything she could to make things as normal for us as possible. I never remember this catastrophic change when my dad moved out and into his own place. I don't remember feeling abandoned by my dad when he left, nor do I remember hating my mom for "kicking him out" (as it's oftentimes said in today's relationships). The truth was, my parents didn't get along and they were going their own ways. My mom never sat my brother and I down (or at least I don't remember it if she did) and listed her expectations of us. She never told us that we couldn't smoke or drink. She never told us to be respectful of adults. She never told us that we had to get good grades. She never told us that we had to keep a job in order to pay for what we wanted. She never HAD to tell us anything...we just knew, because of the example she set for us. It goes without saying, that my brother and I were successful teens, young adults, and now adults (yes, even with the bumps along the way) because of the way that my mom raised us. My dad has said MANY times that mom did a "hell of a job" raising us, and that he has never doubted that we are the way we are because of Mom.

With that said, I can't help but be a little prideful of the way my kids are. Aaron called me yesterday saying he wanted to take the kids to his church last night. Although I should have been happy that the kids were able to experience Daddy's church with him, the reality was that Aaron only wanted to take the kids to church to "show them off" and parade them around as though they are the kids they are because of something HE did.

I got a text from Aaron during their drive from IL to MN yesterday. "If I have to tell Anderson to quit whining one more time, I might lose my voice." This really bothered me. How dare him try to swoop in every three months and try to "man-Anderson-up"... Aaron even criticized my parenting saying that I do a good job of raising "little sheltered baby GIRLS"...Again, these ignorant comments by Aaron do nothing to me. I know that I'm doing a FABULOUS job as a single parent. My kids are the way they are because of ME, and very little because of Aaron. He can criticize the way my son acts or the way he thinks I parent, but the reality is, it's not up to Aaron how I raise the kids. He checked out on his parental role two years ago. He trusted ME to do it 99% of the time. He can't expect the kids to just flip into what HE wants them to be during the 1% that he has them.

**again, stepping off my soapbox***