...that Lilly's voice has changed in the past three days? The kids called this evening to fill me in on their daily events (okay, not really...truth is, I sent Aaron a threatening text that if he didn't have the kids call me I was driving to MN tonight to pick them up!). Lilly was talking like a teenager.
Lilly: "Yes mom? Daddy said we had to call you!"
Me: "EXCUSE ME? You didn't WANT to call me?"
Lilly: "We were playing. I called you now though."
Me: "Geesh, well thanks! So what are you guys doing?"
Lilly: "We're going on the rollercoaster."
Me: "EXCUSE ME??? ROLLERCOASTER? Where's your dad? Let me talk to you dad!"
Lilly (with Aaron in the background prompting): "You need to chill out Mom! We're going to the mall rollercoaster!"
Me: "OOOOOH!"
I'm having a really hard time with the kids being gone, as I mentioned before! I'm sure it's a control thing (even though I'm not controlling AT ALL! Teheheh!)...but I just HATE the idea of not knowing what they're doing, eating, wearing, saying, etc...I trust Aaron 10000% with the kids, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm the mama and I do it better! LOL!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I'm BOOOOORED
Remember when you were a kid and you would be bored two days into summer vacation? You were SOOOO excited for summer to come and you just couldn't WAIT for the break...but then when it came down to it, you sat there with your siblings and thought "well, what are we gonna do now?!" I remember my mom saying "If you're bored I can find something for you to do!" Ugh! In my adult life, I'm experiencing the same "bored" feelings.
The kids left Sunday for MN for a week-long visit with their Dad. I was SUPER excited for the break and REALLY excited for the kids! I thought of all the stuff I could get done with the kids away for the week. I thought about the tan I'd work on, the cleaning I'd get done, the dinners I'd make for myself, etc...yyyyyeah none of that stuff has happened! Ha! It's the second full day of the kids' vacation and I'm bored out of my mind! I can't figure out what's more pathetic--- the fact that my two toddlers provide my source of entertainment or that I'm not enjoying my alone time!
Not only have I NOT made dinner for myself, but I've ordered carryout twice now! So in addition to my unhealthy eating habits, I have also put a significant dent in my monthly food budget! Whoops! I haven't tanned at all yet because by the time I get off work I think about how awesome it would be to go home and do NOTHING...which turns into me laying on the couch for about thirty minutes, watching the latest episode of Judge Judy, and then caving in to my cravings for take-out Chinese or B'dubs! Again, WHOOPS! The sheets from the kids' beds are still laying in the hallway in front of the washing machine. I really did have high hopes for my week...but I've just failed miserably.
In all seriousness, I miss my kids like crazy. I can't believe I thought I'd be okay for a whole week without them! LOL! They are the best thing in my life. Truly. Not seeing their little faces everyday makes my heart hurt. I CANNOT WAIT to see them Saturday!
*Here's to hoping that feeling lasts through Sunday! LOL!*
The kids left Sunday for MN for a week-long visit with their Dad. I was SUPER excited for the break and REALLY excited for the kids! I thought of all the stuff I could get done with the kids away for the week. I thought about the tan I'd work on, the cleaning I'd get done, the dinners I'd make for myself, etc...yyyyyeah none of that stuff has happened! Ha! It's the second full day of the kids' vacation and I'm bored out of my mind! I can't figure out what's more pathetic--- the fact that my two toddlers provide my source of entertainment or that I'm not enjoying my alone time!
Not only have I NOT made dinner for myself, but I've ordered carryout twice now! So in addition to my unhealthy eating habits, I have also put a significant dent in my monthly food budget! Whoops! I haven't tanned at all yet because by the time I get off work I think about how awesome it would be to go home and do NOTHING...which turns into me laying on the couch for about thirty minutes, watching the latest episode of Judge Judy, and then caving in to my cravings for take-out Chinese or B'dubs! Again, WHOOPS! The sheets from the kids' beds are still laying in the hallway in front of the washing machine. I really did have high hopes for my week...but I've just failed miserably.
In all seriousness, I miss my kids like crazy. I can't believe I thought I'd be okay for a whole week without them! LOL! They are the best thing in my life. Truly. Not seeing their little faces everyday makes my heart hurt. I CANNOT WAIT to see them Saturday!
*Here's to hoping that feeling lasts through Sunday! LOL!*
Friday, April 2, 2010
"The Miracle"
I was just asked, "do you not see the miracle that has come from all of this?" And just so that I don't forget, I'm posting all the miracles that have come from this situation (which I will leave unnamed) so that anytime I am questioning myself or my life, I can go back and read this blog and remind myself.
I've said it in previous blogs and I'll say it again, I am probably the last person on earth who deserves to love a job as much as I love mine. Sure, there are days that I would rather spend my time in jammies, lounging with the kiddies, but NEVER in the past nine months, has there been a day that I haven't been grateful to be working. I love my job. I love what I do and I love that through my job I am able to help other people improve their lives. That's huge. (So perhaps that's two miracles in one?!)
My kids. I have been the sole provider for eight of the eleven past months. I don't say this to toot my own horn, because I know there are plenty of other women doing the same thing everyday, but I say it to remind myself that I am doing great things not only for myself, but also for my kids. I am a better, happier, healthier person than I was a year ago. And I have myself to thank for that.
One of the biggest blessings I have encountered in the past year has been my faith. I've always believed in God, but I've never truly tried living His word. I never took the time to reflect on my life and how it measures up to the way I am expected to live. Faith is something that confuses me at times, but its also there pulling me through the tough times and leading me through the good times. Without my faith, I doubt I would have gotten myself to the point where I am in my life now. Sure, I have many more miles to go before I can fully understand (if ever) the magnitude that God plays in my life, but I am now willing to open my mind to that idea, and work to improve my ways of living to honor Him.
Going back to school was really a no-brainer for me. If I was truly going to do this on my own, then I needed to finish things I had started in the past. School was my main hiccup in my past...as much as I wanted to finish, I just never did it. Deciding to go to IWU wasn't hard at all. I heard my dad talk about the impact it was having on his life, and I was seeing the joy it was bringing to his life, and after a quick email to my aunt, I was basically set. Three weeks later, I was starting classes at IWU, and five weeks after that I finished my first class with a 97% (woot woot!)!
Sure, I have a lot on my plate...but again, I know I'm not the first person to take on these responsibilities all at once. I'm not writing this blog to brag or complain about the life I have. I know I am fortunate, trust me. I know I've been insanely blessed to have two healthy children, an amazingly supportive family, and incredibly loving friends. I know all that. But there are days where I just look around and get pissed off because it doesn't seem fair. There are days I want to just be pissed off at the world, at God, and everyone...because I just don't feel like I can go on. But now I'm going to be able to come back to this blog and read all the miracles that have been laid out in front of me in the past year...and I will feel blessed to be living this life.
I've said it in previous blogs and I'll say it again, I am probably the last person on earth who deserves to love a job as much as I love mine. Sure, there are days that I would rather spend my time in jammies, lounging with the kiddies, but NEVER in the past nine months, has there been a day that I haven't been grateful to be working. I love my job. I love what I do and I love that through my job I am able to help other people improve their lives. That's huge. (So perhaps that's two miracles in one?!)
My kids. I have been the sole provider for eight of the eleven past months. I don't say this to toot my own horn, because I know there are plenty of other women doing the same thing everyday, but I say it to remind myself that I am doing great things not only for myself, but also for my kids. I am a better, happier, healthier person than I was a year ago. And I have myself to thank for that.
One of the biggest blessings I have encountered in the past year has been my faith. I've always believed in God, but I've never truly tried living His word. I never took the time to reflect on my life and how it measures up to the way I am expected to live. Faith is something that confuses me at times, but its also there pulling me through the tough times and leading me through the good times. Without my faith, I doubt I would have gotten myself to the point where I am in my life now. Sure, I have many more miles to go before I can fully understand (if ever) the magnitude that God plays in my life, but I am now willing to open my mind to that idea, and work to improve my ways of living to honor Him.
Going back to school was really a no-brainer for me. If I was truly going to do this on my own, then I needed to finish things I had started in the past. School was my main hiccup in my past...as much as I wanted to finish, I just never did it. Deciding to go to IWU wasn't hard at all. I heard my dad talk about the impact it was having on his life, and I was seeing the joy it was bringing to his life, and after a quick email to my aunt, I was basically set. Three weeks later, I was starting classes at IWU, and five weeks after that I finished my first class with a 97% (woot woot!)!
Sure, I have a lot on my plate...but again, I know I'm not the first person to take on these responsibilities all at once. I'm not writing this blog to brag or complain about the life I have. I know I am fortunate, trust me. I know I've been insanely blessed to have two healthy children, an amazingly supportive family, and incredibly loving friends. I know all that. But there are days where I just look around and get pissed off because it doesn't seem fair. There are days I want to just be pissed off at the world, at God, and everyone...because I just don't feel like I can go on. But now I'm going to be able to come back to this blog and read all the miracles that have been laid out in front of me in the past year...and I will feel blessed to be living this life.
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