Oh yeah, time to mother again.

So Christmas was an absolute blur (with the exception of receiving my Michael Kors bag, of course!). Having a split family it makes it difficult on everyone. I decided that next year the kids and I will probably skip the extended-family Christmas and just go to my parents' houses to celebrate. It's more than enough!
The day after Christmas, we celebrated baby Andy's third birthday! It was just a simple party, with cake and ice cream and a few gifts! Again, staying the night at mom's after a long Christmas day just isn't my forte' and I've decided that Anderson's birthday parties will be held at OUR house from here on out. After spending thirty minutes unloading the mini-toy store from the back of the Murano into my kitchen, and then the following two days finding homes for the slew of gifts, I realized that not only is my house too small, but I also have very spoiled children! Hehehe!
Aaron and his brother came for a visit on the 26th. My house was still in shambles and adding two more people to the mix just threw what little zen I had completely out of wack! Anderson was sick from the 24th until today (and even today is still filled with thick green snot..YUMMY!). Aaron stayed home with the kids on Monday and Tuesday while I worked. I came home both days to a yummy dinner, clean (and happy) kids, and essentially nothing to do. He put them to bed both days, woke up with them both mornings, etc. It was heavenly!
I woke up this morning to Anderson whimpering at my bedside. It hit me like a ton of bricks..."Oh yeah, time to mother again. I'm back on!" LOL!
The break was fantastic and I appreciate the time away from the little munchkins, but at the end of the day I'm ready to be their number one again!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDERSON!!!!!!!!!

It all began on Aaron's birthday when Lilly and I announced to Daddy that he would soon be blessed with his little boy!

Happy birthday to my precious baby boy! At 11:40am on Thursday 12/27/07, God blessed me with my handsome man. He was 7lbs 1oz, and 19 3/4 inches long! It's insane to think I'll NEVER again have a two year old (yes, NEVER!)!!!

"We're here, Mr.President! Enlist us!"

It's a good day! I have a dear friend in the military so I thought it would be interesting to get his take on this. He said he was glad to see this happen and that it was time for this blurred line of racism/sexism to end. He asked why the defense of our constitution, freedoms and nation should be limited to people's sexual orientation. He said, "We, as an American culture, "allow" homosexuals to fill the highest civilian positions and entrust them with extraordinary responsibilities but the military kicked them out and essentially told them they aren't good enough to serve their country. Bottom line...America is the land of the free and home of the brave and this was long overdue; it's refreshing to see this form of segregation addressed and the law signed by our Commander in Chief." I think it's interseting to hear this from someone inside the military realm. As a "civilian" (as my military friend so often calls me!), it's hard to grasp the idea that this has been the norm for the past seventeen years. WOOT WOOT to this repeal! Thank you Mr.President!!!

Unconventional or Just Downright Brilliant?!

I read an article this afternoon titled "Unconventional Relationships." After reading and rereading this article, I got to thinking...maybe this is the route to go!
As someone who has become extremely independent, especially when it comes to my living conditions, this separate sleeping quarters, coast-to-coast dwelling seems perfect! I mentioned in a previous blog that I like to consider myself an expert on relationships(granted, as a single gal!). It seems to me that relationships are hard enough, even with the stars all aligned, so if there's a chance to make things a tad bit easier, why not!? Is living together every single day really THAT important? And why must we torture ourselves by sleeping with our slobbery mate if the truth is we really hate it. What part of "til death do us part" includes "in the same bed?"
I hate that relationships have to fit this "mold"...the man should be the one responsible for the bills, a man should make more money, the wife should cook, clean, and pop out babies (okay that may be more of an anatomy issue than anything). But why can't things just be based more on a case-by-case situation? Why does everything have to be accepted based on traditions? Thank you "Unconventional Relationship" article, for reminding me that my single life is pretty gnarly!

Just a bunch of Flynn Rider's

I took the kids to see Disney's "Tangled" this weekend. It was an adorable movie, but it got me thinking....why, in life, do we always fall for Flynn Rider's? In the movie, Flynn not only has the most handsome eyes and sexy voice (can I say that about a Disney character?!), but he's also a rugged bandit, which makes him all the more appealing! There's always been that "good-girl-falls-for-bad-boy-syndrome" going around, but what happens when it becomes a way of life for some girls? Is this something that has been driven into our precious girl minds since we were toddlers?! (Think Aladin!)
I've been single for quite some time now (not complaining AT ALL). Of course there has been the occasional suitor, but more times than not, he is a messy ball of flaws that I can't be bothered with. But I have some friends who just continuously go for the troubled-Flynns and disregard their own warnings and those of their loved ones (me). Although I've had many failed relationships, I still consider myself an expert at relationship-advice-giving! I feel that I have this ability (a gift, if you will) at seeing a person's relationship, picking out the problems (usually they have been brought to my attention, of course!), and offering SIMPLE solutions to cure them. Here's the thing...you always have options. You can keep doing things the way you've been doing them (but please stop complaining to me about them!), or you can change it! Simple. So when someone complains about his soon-to-be-ex-wife and the ridiculous debt she's racked up for him, I say "Well, you have to pay it. There's no way around it. So pay it, and thank GOD that you never have to incur one more dollar of her debt." Or when a friend complains about her husband's lack of help around the home, even though he's currently unemployed, I say to her, "Well, you have two choices. Either let the mess settle for another week and keep bitching about it, or clean it up yourself." It's simple. I'm so tired of people saying, "yeah, but it's the principle." REALLY? You're willing to live miserably for another day just to prove a point to someone? Ugh! It's ridiculous!

Yes, I know my way of solving married-people's-junk is a little pitiless and unkind, not to mention out of my realm. I compare this much to dog-owners giving me parenting advice. Annoying. So I understand if this seems harsh to you married folks. But my point is, stop crying about it and CHANGE the way you're doing things, and if you CAN'T change it, change the way you think about it! ;)

Neighborhood Kris Kringle(s)

Many of you already know the heart-warming story of a little boy who wanted Christmas lights hung on his house in time for Christmas...but for those of you who aren't familiar with it-- it goes like this:

We drove through the neighboring housing additions, admiring the perfectly placed holiday decor. My kids sat in the backseat, wide-eyed, mouths-opened, just "ooing" and "aww-ing" at the bright, flashing lights. Their little eyes sparkled as I looked in the backseat at them, obsessing over how awesome these other houses were. My heart broke a little because I knew there was no way I'd hang lights on our house this year. The idea of propelling myself up on the rooftop in the snow and wind doesn't rank anywhere near the top hundred activities on my "fun list"--no, not even for my kids! It just wasn't going to happen for my little elves this year.
Anderson asked a hundred questions like, "Why can't daddy hang the lights for us?" to which I replied, "Daddy won't be here before Christmas and it'll be too late once he does get here." Then Anderson thought, "I'll ask Crampa to hang lights." "Anderson, Crampa can't do it either. He won't have a ladder tall enough." Then the best one yet, "I'm going to ask Santa if he'll just hang lights on my house before Christmas." The boy sure knows how to tug on my heart-strings! I was telling my neighbor Amanda about this adorable little story, thinking nothing of it...until I came home from shopping last Friday to a little blue note taped to my front door. It read "Santa asked us to fulfill a little boy's wish for Christmas lights this Christmas!" I looked up and there were lights all over the front of our house! At precisely 5:15 the house started glowing and my kids started screaming! They were SO excited!
THANK YOU SO MUCH JOSH AND AMANDA! You guys are AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

They're More Mine...uh oh!

I'm realizing more and more how much my kids are like me. There are times when I push their less alluring traits on their dad, and proudly take the credit for their loving, adorable personalities. I've made a list of each of their personality traits and which parent those traits favor.

Lilly
-sassy (Me)
-dramatic (Me)
-sensitive (Me)
-loud (Me)
-mature (Me, for sure!)
-helpful (more Aaron!)
-fiesty (Me)
-stubborn (Aaron, for sure!)
-smart (Me)
-selfish (Aaron)
-perfectionist (Me)
-systematic (Me)

Anderson
-dramatic (Me)
-whiny (Me)
-passive (Aaron)
-hilarious (Me, haha!)
-loud (Me)
-ornery (Aaron)
-fearless (Aaron)
-loving (Me)
-cooperative (Me)
-flexible (Aaron)

Whether I like it or not, they have most of my traits, even my not-so-enchanting ones! Look out world, we're in trouble!!!! Hehehehee!

"We're HOME!"

As promised, I'm trying to keep up with my blogging. I left off with our dreadful hotel debacle. July 26th we closed on the house. I took two days off so I could clean, paint, and get things unpacked. I wanted to do everything, right away. Financially, that just wasn't feasible..so I have slowly made changes. Here are some pictures.



Of course there are a MILLION more things to do to the house, but those things will come with time! So far I've changed the flooring in the living room and dining room, painted almost every room in the house (or hired it done!), put new flooring in two of the bathrooms, and even bought all new living room furniture! I've loved transforming my house into my HOME! I sat here today watching the snow fall like CRAZY outside, and I just realized how insanely happy and content I am! I LOVE being a homeowner!!!

Home. Sweet. Hotel.

Since I took quite a long break from blogging, I should go back in time. 2010 has been AMAZING and I can't leave out the most exciting part of my year-- buying my first home!!!
I spoke with a mortgage company (the mortgage company from HELL, by the way!), got a realtor, and started looking at homes. I guess I never TRULY thought I'd buy a home, but I kept pushing through. I looked at probably twelve to fifteen homes before finding "my" house! Although my house didn't have the requirements that I thought were most important to me (fenced-in backyard and a 4th bedroom/second living area), the house fit the main requirements for the kids and me. I saw potential in the house, for sure.
From the time I put the offer on the home, May 20th, until the day I closed on the house, July 26th, things were less than perfect for me and the kids! At the end of June, the kids and I moved out of the home we had been renting. When my offer was accepted, the mortgage company assured me that we would be into the new home at the beginning of July. Clearly one thing after another caused us to be "homeless" for almost an entire month. We literally stayed for three weeks at the Hyatt Place (thanks to my DEAR FRIEND, CLIFF..who donated a TON of his points so we wouldn't have to pay for the hotel). The mortgage company ended up paying for a week and a half of the hotel, after trying to put us up at horrific hotels (Marriott, Comfort Suites). In the end, my complaining prevailed and we ended up back at the Hyatt Place!!

We ate meals on the couch, slept together in one bed, fought about who got to sleep on which side, etc. My crazy phobias were out in full force. I panicked about the kids touching the couch, I was grossed out when they walked on the carpet without shoes, I dry-heaved when Anderson touched the toilet with his bare little hands. Even though the Hyatt Place was beyond nice, I couldn't help but be a little crazy during those three weeks.
My anxiety, which I had never experienced to this magnitude, was causing me to have migraines. I was always upset, fighting with the mortgage company, and just questioning if this was all a sign that I wasn't supposed to get my house. My stress level got so out of control that I spent the better half of a workday in the ER, with stroke-like symptoms. It was TERRIBLE, to say the least.
Everyone kept telling me that once I got into my new house, I would forget all this bad stuff. Truth is, I haven't forgotten one detail of those three weeks...but I'd go through it all again if it meant having my own home in the end. I LOVE my house and I LOVE that it's all MINE!!!!!!!!

86'ing Dining Out

Traditionally New Years resolutions come on January 1st, but my resolution is beginning today. With the change of the month comes the ban on dining out for me and the kids. Not only is it insanely unhealthy (and stressful with two small kids), but my budget just won't allow it anymore. I get paid once a month. After paying this month's bills (and alloting extra money for Christmas gifts), we cannot afford the normal weekly trips to our favorite local mexican restaraunt. Booo!!! I am also nixing my lunchtime trips to McDonalds and other nearby establishments. In an attempt to assure the success of this veto, I have enlisted the help of my co-workers.
I have noticed that I've started to put on some extra poundage. Although I'd like to consider it resourceful, ya know extra layering for the cold temperatures, I realize that I'm very unhappy with my body right now as I feel myself ballooning into a near-pregnancy weight! (Wow, I really just put that all out there, huh?!) I realized I had two choices...either the wine or the burgers! Buh bye burgers, CHEERS!

Wish me luck as I embark on this dine-at-home journey...who knows, maybe I'll actually learn to cook?! BAHAHAHAHA! Let's not go that far!!!

Happy Valentimes?

At what age do children learn that holidays are a time of truce? There is no fighting on holidays. Did my mini-turkeys just miss this memo or what?! I woke up to Lilly screaming, "I need a Kleenex." Followed by Anderson screaming, "I'm hungry!" Really? 6:15am. A short time later, our normal morning routine began, including the typical bickering between the two tykes. UUUUGH! Then, the chaotic bantering about the holiday began:
Lilly: Mom, it's Valentime's day right?
Anderson: It's not Valentine's, it's Thanskgiving.
Lilly: Nu uh!
Anderson: Uh huh!
Lilly: NO!
Anderson: YES!
Me: REALLY?!!!!!!! You guys! It's THANSKGIVING! You can't fight on Thanksgiving!
They both went back to their ridiculous argument. I feel like my ears will literally fall off from all the chaos the two of them produce from bickering with each other.

Something to look forward to...

Well, after an extended hiatus I am happy to announce that I will soon be returning to my blogging life. In just one short week I will be finished with my bachelor's degree in liberal arts. I am SO very excited and I am looking forward to being able to write again (for fun, rather than for a grade!). Although these past eleven months of schooling have flown by, I will be happy to see it come to an end. If I never log on to Blackboard again, it'll be too soon!
I will post pictures of the other projects I have been working on, including the changes I've made to the house. 2010 has been an AWESOME year and I cannot WAIT for 2011. I am hoping for all this goodness to continue!

Stay tuned for more blogging!!!

"HUH? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!?"

I've noticed lately that I'm really loud. I've noticed lately that Anderson is even LOUDER. Oh. My. Gosh. That boy. I first noticed how much noise this little man produced while at the airport last weekend. I was literally two gates away and I could hear word-for-word the conversation Anderson was having with his uncle. Thinking that it was probably just the excitement of the flight, I basically overlooked it and ignored the annoyed stares from those around us (errrr, in a two hundred yard radius).
Last night I went to dinner with the kids, mom, and Grandpa. I noticed that Grandpa was hearing every word that Anderson was saying, which doesn't typically happen. And then the more I looked around, the more I saw other people staring at my human megaphone. Uh oh. My son IS loud! Crap!

Am I back to square one?

The kids just got home from a week-long visit with their dad in Minnesota. After sobbing on my closet floor until 1am the night before they left, I woke up with swollen eyes and an angry heart. My kids shouldn't have to travel across the country to see their dad. They shouldn't have to be away from school for a week at a time because their dad lives in a different state. They shouldn't have to pack their favorite toys and items just because their dad doesn't have these things at his house, in another state, across the country. As I looked at my (smiling) kids, waving from the windows of their dad's fancy BMW, it hit me. My kids aren't suffering. They aren't mad to be driving across country. They aren't upset about packing up their belongings for a week, or even missing school. The reality is that I'M mad. I'm still SO angry, a year later, that Aaron lives so far away. Those of you who know me well know that I have no romantic connection to Aaron, nor do I want to be with him again. While there will ALWAYS be a soft spot in my heart for Aaron, as the father of my children, my love for him as a life partner has passed. I've made myself very open to his manipulation, lies, and well to be frank, his bullshit for far too long. When I think of what I want in a husband, Aaron does not have those qualities. Soooo where does this anger come from? I laid in bed last night contemplating this...knowing that I had read something earlier this year that had (temporarily) helped me. I pulled out the book and flipped to the page:
June 26
Forgiveness can be just a change of attitude. When I realized my bitterness hurt me more than anyone else, I began to search for another way to view my situation. I will not allow old resentments to drag me down any longer. I am building a beetter and more loving life today.

I read, and re-read these words, knowing that this had nothing to do with Aaron. This has everything to do with ME. No matter how badly Aaron has hurt me, how terrible the choices are that he makes, etc...these no longer affect ME. I have come so far in the last year, including finding a job I love, a daycare/school the kids love, finishing my degree, and buying my first home, to allow my bitterness to drag me back to square one.


"Forgiving is not forgetting, it's letting go of the hurt."

Random Update

There is truly nothing better than waking up to the birds chirping, the sun shining, and your son saying, “Mommy, I pooped!” Although it may not be a typical wake-up call for many people, it’s pretty common for my two year old to wake me up discussing the status of his bowels. And I’m okay with that!

Church was amazing, of course. Those twenty minutes of worship at the beginning of each service just gets my blood pumping every week! Of course, the gorgeous Kirk-(from this season’s Bachelorette)-look-alike sitting in the isle across from me didn’t hurt either! This gorgeous creature, not wearing a wedding-ring, was wearing the most adorable turquoise plaid shirt with perfect fitting jeans. He clearly spent way too much time on his hair, but it looked fantastic! Haha! But, what are the chances that an eligible bachelor was sitting at church alone? And even if he was available, how would I ever spark up a conversation with him? It’d go something like, “Hey? I see you dig Jesus too!” Oh, I’m lame!

After picking up my kids from daycare, I announced to them that we would be having beef and noodles for dinner (HOMEMADE!)! The instant we pulled into the garage, we could smell the delicious beef cooking in the crock pot. My daughter walked into the house, plugged her nose and screamed, “I HATE beef and noodles. They smell soooo bad!” She walked around with her nose plugged for the better of an hour—and had a jelly sandwich for dinner. Oy!

Is it possible....

...that Lilly's voice has changed in the past three days? The kids called this evening to fill me in on their daily events (okay, not really...truth is, I sent Aaron a threatening text that if he didn't have the kids call me I was driving to MN tonight to pick them up!). Lilly was talking like a teenager.
Lilly: "Yes mom? Daddy said we had to call you!"
Me: "EXCUSE ME? You didn't WANT to call me?"
Lilly: "We were playing. I called you now though."
Me: "Geesh, well thanks! So what are you guys doing?"
Lilly: "We're going on the rollercoaster."
Me: "EXCUSE ME??? ROLLERCOASTER? Where's your dad? Let me talk to you dad!"
Lilly (with Aaron in the background prompting): "You need to chill out Mom! We're going to the mall rollercoaster!"
Me: "OOOOOH!"

I'm having a really hard time with the kids being gone, as I mentioned before! I'm sure it's a control thing (even though I'm not controlling AT ALL! Teheheh!)...but I just HATE the idea of not knowing what they're doing, eating, wearing, saying, etc...I trust Aaron 10000% with the kids, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm the mama and I do it better! LOL!

I'm BOOOOORED

Remember when you were a kid and you would be bored two days into summer vacation? You were SOOOO excited for summer to come and you just couldn't WAIT for the break...but then when it came down to it, you sat there with your siblings and thought "well, what are we gonna do now?!" I remember my mom saying "If you're bored I can find something for you to do!" Ugh! In my adult life, I'm experiencing the same "bored" feelings.
The kids left Sunday for MN for a week-long visit with their Dad. I was SUPER excited for the break and REALLY excited for the kids! I thought of all the stuff I could get done with the kids away for the week. I thought about the tan I'd work on, the cleaning I'd get done, the dinners I'd make for myself, etc...yyyyyeah none of that stuff has happened! Ha! It's the second full day of the kids' vacation and I'm bored out of my mind! I can't figure out what's more pathetic--- the fact that my two toddlers provide my source of entertainment or that I'm not enjoying my alone time!
Not only have I NOT made dinner for myself, but I've ordered carryout twice now! So in addition to my unhealthy eating habits, I have also put a significant dent in my monthly food budget! Whoops! I haven't tanned at all yet because by the time I get off work I think about how awesome it would be to go home and do NOTHING...which turns into me laying on the couch for about thirty minutes, watching the latest episode of Judge Judy, and then caving in to my cravings for take-out Chinese or B'dubs! Again, WHOOPS! The sheets from the kids' beds are still laying in the hallway in front of the washing machine. I really did have high hopes for my week...but I've just failed miserably.
In all seriousness, I miss my kids like crazy. I can't believe I thought I'd be okay for a whole week without them! LOL! They are the best thing in my life. Truly. Not seeing their little faces everyday makes my heart hurt. I CANNOT WAIT to see them Saturday!
*Here's to hoping that feeling lasts through Sunday! LOL!*

"The Miracle"

I was just asked, "do you not see the miracle that has come from all of this?" And just so that I don't forget, I'm posting all the miracles that have come from this situation (which I will leave unnamed) so that anytime I am questioning myself or my life, I can go back and read this blog and remind myself.

I've said it in previous blogs and I'll say it again, I am probably the last person on earth who deserves to love a job as much as I love mine. Sure, there are days that I would rather spend my time in jammies, lounging with the kiddies, but NEVER in the past nine months, has there been a day that I haven't been grateful to be working. I love my job. I love what I do and I love that through my job I am able to help other people improve their lives. That's huge. (So perhaps that's two miracles in one?!)

My kids. I have been the sole provider for eight of the eleven past months. I don't say this to toot my own horn, because I know there are plenty of other women doing the same thing everyday, but I say it to remind myself that I am doing great things not only for myself, but also for my kids. I am a better, happier, healthier person than I was a year ago. And I have myself to thank for that.

One of the biggest blessings I have encountered in the past year has been my faith. I've always believed in God, but I've never truly tried living His word. I never took the time to reflect on my life and how it measures up to the way I am expected to live. Faith is something that confuses me at times, but its also there pulling me through the tough times and leading me through the good times. Without my faith, I doubt I would have gotten myself to the point where I am in my life now. Sure, I have many more miles to go before I can fully understand (if ever) the magnitude that God plays in my life, but I am now willing to open my mind to that idea, and work to improve my ways of living to honor Him.

Going back to school was really a no-brainer for me. If I was truly going to do this on my own, then I needed to finish things I had started in the past. School was my main hiccup in my past...as much as I wanted to finish, I just never did it. Deciding to go to IWU wasn't hard at all. I heard my dad talk about the impact it was having on his life, and I was seeing the joy it was bringing to his life, and after a quick email to my aunt, I was basically set. Three weeks later, I was starting classes at IWU, and five weeks after that I finished my first class with a 97% (woot woot!)!

Sure, I have a lot on my plate...but again, I know I'm not the first person to take on these responsibilities all at once. I'm not writing this blog to brag or complain about the life I have. I know I am fortunate, trust me. I know I've been insanely blessed to have two healthy children, an amazingly supportive family, and incredibly loving friends. I know all that. But there are days where I just look around and get pissed off because it doesn't seem fair. There are days I want to just be pissed off at the world, at God, and everyone...because I just don't feel like I can go on. But now I'm going to be able to come back to this blog and read all the miracles that have been laid out in front of me in the past year...and I will feel blessed to be living this life.

Crock Pot Cooking

After a fourth week of a menu consisting of tacos, spaghetti, pizza, and hotdogs and mac and cheese, I decided to take action. Everyone keeps telling me how easy crock pot meals are. I looked through a cookbook especially for crock pot meals, and still didn't find anything that tickled my fancy. So, I began searching online on Aaron's favorite recipe site, thinking maybe I could whip something up as good as he always did! I mentioned in a previous posting that I had pork chops in the freezer that I'd been meaning to use, but just couldn't find a recipe that seemed fool-proof enough for me! Well, I think I finally found one! I'm not going to try them tomorrow because I have a roast in the crock pot now in preparation for beef and noodles tonight. (Which we will eat again tomorrow as leftovers!) But I plan to try them Wednesday! I'm very excited to start learning to make new meals for me and the kids. Wish me luck! And send on your crock pot meals!

You've Got a Friend In Me

Trimming the friend fat. We've all done it, whether we knew it's what we were doing or not, we've gotten rid of people in our lives who are simply acquaintances rather than good friends.
I think it's important to define what characteristics you want in a good friend. For me, I want someone who contributes good things to my life. Rather than listing what I don't want in a friend, I have been trying to list the qualities that give my good friends that good friend status.
In high school, I had a group of friends I ran around with. They were my very best friends. We dealt with the fights, the backstabbing, the gossip, etc because we were in high school and it was just high school drama. And while at the time I felt like my life was over if one of my friends was mad at me, I see now that it was ridiculous to think we'd be friends for life. We all had different personalities, different things to bring to our "group"....and while it was fun being the center of attention, the popular group, the sad reality is that that was just high school. It was no reflection of what was to come in our adult lives.
There are things I've done since high school that may "define" me in the eyes of some of my old high school "friends" and that's fine. I will be the first to admit that I have flaws, I've made mistakes, and I've acted a fool! But I'm not that person anymore. I'm not the high school homecoming queen, I'm not the captain of the cheerleading team, I'm not the party girl, I'm not the girl who always fell through on her word, I'm not the girl who couldn't be depended on... I'm not any of those things I once was...I am now a 28 year old woman, raising two small kids on her own. I would like to think that I do a good job in my life, my job, and with my family. I am realizing more and more that those people in my past are just that-- people in the past. I will not apologize for my past. I do not have regrets. Everything that has happened in my life has made me into the person I am today, and I will not apologize for that.
I would rather have three INCREDIBLY LOYAL, TRUSTWORTHY, HONEST, FAITHFUL friends, than the friends in my past who I know are none of those things. It's a good feeling to know that I can call my friends ANYTIME and they'll be there for me. I've been though a LOT of stuff in the past year. I have been in very low points. I NEEDED someone to help bring me back up and I can honestly say that from that I know who my true friends are. I also know that my friends would never backstab me, talk badly about me, or judge me for my past. I know that my friends are TRUE friends and that's a good feeling to have!

"Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers."
- Proverbs 18:24

27 vs 28..It's on!

I hear Lilly say it all the time, "Mom, when I get older can I _________?" I just laugh and think about how ridiculous it is to think of Lilly and Anderson as older! I was holding Lilly in church last Sunday wondering if she's too old to be held (personally I don't think they're ever too old to be held!)But she's so tall (and I'm so short) that when I'm standing up holding her, her little feet dangle to my knees! But enough about size...I'm talking age.

I've been making plans to meet up with an old friend who I haven't seen in well over ten years. We're pretty much the same age (I think he's maybe a year younger than me), but his idea of fun and mine seem a little distorted! While I can understand his intentions of wanting to do something "fun" and "crazy" on his little mini-vacay to Indiana (which is just CRAZY fun in itself!)I just can't help but be exhausted at the thought of the ideas he's thrown out! LOL!
So I wonder...am I just old? Can I not "keep up" with someone who is literally a year younger than me? LOL! Is the leap from 27 to 28 that brutal? LOL! I think not! I think it's just me! I'm a prude! A TIRED prude at that!

DUH MOM!

I can't help but be "that" parent who thinks the things her kids do are insanely hilarious. If you're not one of "those" people who enjoy hearing stories (which are probably not that entertaining!) about other people's kids, skip this blog.

Lately I've caught myself sitting back and just listening to the kids. They're at that age where they're content just playing with each other, not really wanting me to join in their fun! The past few days have just made me realize how old my kids are getting. The following story is just an example of how hilarious my kids are!

Saturday morning I had to go into work to do a few things, so clearly I took the kids with me. On the way there, a song was playing on the radio. I had NO idea what the song was; although I'm sure I've heard it a few times on XM in the morning. All of a sudden, Lilly says "That's Kesha, not Lady Gaga!" WWWWWWWWWWWWHAT? I looked back at her and she's just staring blankly at me as though she just told me something as obvious as her own name. Seriously, I've barely HEARD that Tik Tok song, let alone know who sings it. Is this girl serious? I couldn't help but laugh hysterically!!!

OOOH that girl!

The Not-So-Obvious, obviously.

I've compiled a list of things that seem obvious to others, but not to me. These are things that I need to learn, so if anyone has the answers, please comment and let me know.

1) How to pump air into my tires at a gas station. Last weekend Mom was in town, and just as we were leaving for our weekly shopping extravaganza, I noticed my rear tire was slightly low. I looked at mom, thinking she'd surely know how to put air into a tire...she did not. Whoops. After calling two different people, at 9:30 on a Saturday morning, and getting no response, I surrendered and called Don Ayres Honda to see if they could fit me in for a quick look at my leaking tire. And come to find out, there actually was a small hole in my tire, which would have needed patched, even if I did know how to put air into my tire. For future reference though, I should know how to put air into my tire.

2) What time zone do I live in? I'm trying to arrange a time with my group for my online class so that we can "meet" in our designated chat room, but I don't know what time zone I'm in and many of them live in other states. At the risk of looking like a total moron, I have just not responded, hoping to find out before I need to post something in our group discussion again. This may be a ridiculous thing, but for whatever reason, I don't know. In my defense however, I've never had to worry about time zones because I've never had to change times until the past few years. Ugh, whatever the reason, just tell me what time zone I live in please!

3) How to delete a contact, for good, from my phone? Damn iPhone. Why must you save a number in eighteen different locations, only to taunt me with the number I've been trying to forget. After deleting the contact information, with the exception of the email address (hey, I might need to contact this person at SOME point, right! LOL!) I later found the number, without the name though, in my "favorites" section, and again in the voicemail. WHY iPhone WHY!? Let me forget this damn number!!!

4) How to make pork chops, without the grill. Or even furthermore, how to use my grill. Before Aaron left (insert eye roll) he bought tons of meat. I have no clue how to even turn on my grill, let alone use it and cook something on it. And while that's not really an issue now, as I have no plans of stepping into the foot of snow on my back patio to actually get to the grill, I still have this meat that I'd like to be able to use. I have tried baking grilled chicken in the oven, and while my mom swears by it, I just can't seem to get it to taste good. It always comes out tasting dry and turkey-ish. I love pork chops, so I need to know an EASY, fool-proof way of cooking them inside.

At this point in my blog I'd like to give special thanks to those of you who have taught me life-lessons in the past months.
Sally: Thank you for teaching me how to use my four-wheel drive...even if it meant you actually coming out to my truck to turn it on, or me calling you on a Friday evening at home! LOL! Who knew it was as simple as the push of a button!
Shannon: Thank you for teaching my how to start (and use) my lawn mower; I actually look forward to the coming months when I'll be able to use it again!
Adam (and sometimes Andrea): Thank you for your step-by-step directions to opening a bottle of wine, and oftentimes retrieving the pieces of cork from the bottle. (Just keep drinking!)I've now perfected the art of opening a bottle of wine.

Dirt ball turned nice? Closet dirt bag?

Let's play a game where we all pretend that I'm just telling fictional stories.

Scenario 1:
A guy, let's call him Pete, is a pretty terrible guy. He treats people badly. He does bad things. He says mean things. He probably doesn't WANT to be bad, but he is. Pete is just an ass. Pete escapes from reality, more than once. Pete wants to explore the world and forget about his old life. Perhaps Pete has good motives. Maybe Pete sees starting over as the only way to a better life. Blah blah blah. Pete, after ditching all his responsibilities, begins to do great service work. He works at soup kitchens, gives rides to those in need, helps old ladies carry groceries across the street (stick with me, it's fictional!). The problem? Pete still has responsibilities in his "old life" that he's failed to take care of. He has basically forgotten that he even HAD an "old life."
My question: Has "dirt ball" Pete turned nice? How does everyone in Pete's "old life" accept and trust that he's a good person now? Do they have to?

Scenario 2:
A guy, let's call him Mike, seems to be a pretty great guy...especially on paper. Mike is ambitious, athletic, generous, and says all the right things. Mike probably isn't half as great as he makes himself out to be, but for some reason, people believe that he is! Mike convinces an unnamed girl that he is genuine and sincere. Girl tries to believe, but with today's social networking, "falls" into reasons to believe otherwise. Whoops. Mike may be a closet dirt bag.
My question: There is no question. Mike is a dirt bag, caught.

DAMN YOU BACHELOR!

Let it be known, I probably couldn't make it through an entire episode of "The Bachelor" without a bottle...eerrrr GLASS of wine ;) but since I use the delectable drink to help me through the reality show, I've become addicted...not to the wine, but to the show and the idea of the show! Yeah yeah yeah I know, the show is intended to make us single (or not single) gals reflect upon our dreary, dreadful, sad, lonely, (I'll stop there) lives and give us these ridiculous hopes of what we may one day find. But let's be honest, we all know it's never going to happen. As fun as it is to pretend to be Allie or Tenley and have a handsome hunk who says all the right things, at all the right times, at all the right locations (hello St.Lucia), we know that none of the lackluster men in our lives would mutter a single one of Jake's sweet-nothings, let alone take us to St.Lucia, or at least not without bitching about "how much this is costing him."

So I've been thinking. How do we decide the point at which we're just settling versus being less subjective? Let me just be completely honest, I've turned into that self-help-book-reading-girl. During one of my afternoons perusing Yahoo, I came across an article that spoke directly to me. I quickly emailed my friend Megan telling her I must buy this book.

I didn't have to work last Wednesday due to bad weather. I saw it as a perfect opportunity to take my car in for an oil change and some other minor work, and a GREAT day to start reading my new book. After waiting outside of Barnes & Noble, only to find out they were opening late due to weather, I went across the street to Borders. After turning down the cute Border boy's offer to help me find what I was looking for, I spent the next twenty minutes trying to locate this bright red book...keeping my distance from the "Self-Help" section...convinced that was not my precious book's categorization. Indeed, it was. I got to the counter only to find out that my "relationship bible" was $27! My eyes bugged out and before I could stop myself I blurted out "OH MY, it was only $15 at Barnes and Noble and I would have gotten it there but they're opening late due to the weather..." I stopped myself as fast as I could, thinking that this guy must think I'm the most pathetic moron to have entered his store. Here is this young (28 is still young) girl bitching about how much her husband-finding book is costing her. Oh, embarrassing. I quickly exit the store, gratful that I don't spend much time in Borders.

I've read only a small bit of the book, and after reading it I feel compelled to go out there and find me a short, balding, nice guy....but then I SEE the short, balding, nice guy and I can't help but feel slightly cheated. While the book makes a good point (what "perfect" guy is going to want a 28-year-old girl with two kids, a jaded outlook on relationships, etc), I can't help but feel like there's still something more. Now don't get me wrong, I'm in NO hurry to find "the one"....if he even exits (well welcome back, Cynicism!) but I WOULD like to have something to do once in awhile, with someone other than my mother and my two kids (no offense Mama!). And with all my friends' upcoming weddings, it'd be NICE to have a date to those events, rather than hoping for a fellow single friend to be in attendance!

I don't know. Perhaps I should try watching The Bachelor with clear eyes (literally!) and then I'd get a look at how completely silly it is to think that another guy like Jake exists! (Anyone know if he has a brother?! LOL!)