So happy in love..

As any woman, I have many complaints about the man in my life...the way he eats, swallows, snores, etc! Those minor annoyances aside though, I have to say that I'm a pretty lucky gal. Aaron and I have been through a LOT. We've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly...times twelve! Being that we're still both very young and unsettled in our lives (career-wise, financially, etc...) I'd have to say that we've come a long way in the past year, since Lilly was born. I have absolutely no regrets in our life together. I'm so excited that we're pregnant and that we're going to add to our precious little family!

It's just that sometimes I really take Aaron for granted. He does anything and everything for me...for us. He takes care of us financially, emotionally, physically, etc. He puts up with my often-bratty-moments and can look back and laugh at how crazy I am (a lot!)!!! He works late every night, and still has the energy to wake up the next morning to make me breakfast or to go to the park with Lilly and I. He's the type of guy who understands that sometimes I just need to be alone. Aaron's the type of person to wake up every morning with the thought that it's a new day and thinks about how he can make today even better than yesterday...and usually succeeds in doing so.

I guess I just never really take the time to think about how wonderful I have it with Aaron. I don't acknowledge the wonderful things he does, all he puts up with, the time he has for us, and how much he helps me with EVERYTHING. I'm so lucky and I'm so grateful to have someone like Aaron in my life!
So, what I'm trying to say is that I just MAY be the luckiest girl in the world to have someone like Aaron....no matter our past, no matter how much I bitch about him...he's pretty fabulous and I'm SOOO happy to have him in my life!



******WARNING: The mushy-ness of this blog may be hormone-induced, but nonetheless, honest and real!********

Limited Options

Today is a day that I could classify as one of the most frustrating and disappointing days of my life! Today I realized that the downfalls (or perhaps landslides) of our government are now DIRECTLY affecting my life. Being as I work from home, and Aaron and I aren't married yet (yes, that's right Mom, there's still hope!), I don't have insurance that will cover my pregnancy costs.

Lilly and I are on a short-term plan until the end of July, when again we will have to pay nearly $700 to insure ourselves for another six months. I know the importance of being covered, but our short-term plan covers only major medical, so as of now, it's done nothing to necessarily benefit us, other than giving us the peace of mind that we ARE insured. It doesn't cover the cost of Lilly's $95 wellness checks or anything preventative of mine. This hasn't been an issue though, until I realized that pregnancy could not be covered by nearly ANY insurance company in this glorious country in which we reside. However, every insurance agent that I spoke with, during my four hour online and phone search, suggested that I look into state aid...a.k.a Medicaid.

Now, I have NO problem with people getting on "Hoosier Healthwise" if they TRULY need it. I wouldn't say Aaron and I fall into that catagory at all, but apparently, our only two options are to either pay for the entire pregnancy, delivery, and hospital stay out-of-pocket (totalling over $4000), or to get on Medicaid (completely free). Call it pride, call it snobby, call it what you will, but I was NOT raised to take advantage of government assistance...and I feel that's what we'd be doing especially under the circumstances in which we live.

It just SHOCKED me to learn that we LITERALLY have NO other options than the two mentioned above. It's sad that two people who WANT to do the "right" thing cannot do so while being insured by any other "company" other than the government. It's a sad and frustrating day in our house!!!

To wed or not to wed...There is NO question!

So as many of you know by now, Aaron and I are expecting our second child. And we're very excited, I must add! But of course, the first question out of EVERYONE'S mouth is "Sooo when are you getting married?!" and my response is "HUH? Why would we get married?" The stunned, hurt, shocked, judging glare that stares back at me is priceless, and unanimous across the board! Whatever!

Here's my problem. I've NEVER been the type of girl to think I NEED to get married. I've never had dreams of the white flowing dress and thousands of strategically placed putrid flowers. Sure, I've caught myself having delusional thoughts of my FABULOUS engagement ring, going so far as to even email the exact one I want to Aaron! But the ring aside, I can't really imagine my life changing THAT much by changing my last name and making our relationship "official"....

Official to whom? The church? Do you know that stastics show that Christians have been divorced and REMARRIED more than any other group of faith? The same group who has banned same-sex marriages because it's against God's will...rrrright! Let me take my marriage advice from THOSE people. C'mon! (And I agree with Brad Pitt's stand on same-sex marriage... I'll get married when my brother can marry whomever he wants to!)
Official to my family? Sure, my parents and grandparents are from a different era and therefore have different beliefs. However, statistics also show that my parents' age group has a higher divorce rate than any other age group.

And even though a select group of people are waiting to get married until a later age, they are NOT necessarily waiting to have children. And for good reasons....Who has the energy or the aspiration to chase around two small children when you're in your thirties?

I'm not trying to justify my reasons for having another child, that's not necessary. I'm simply announcing that I have NO intentions of getting married just because we're pregnant again. I like the way things operate at our house now! I like that I still have my individuality and he still has his. I like that I still have the same last name as my mom, brother, sister, and dad. Maybe I'll never let go of that! Bottom line people, stop asking us if we're getting married now or assuming that we NEED to get married now! It's not gonna happen!

****By the way, I got my highly informative statistics from http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm****

A day of rest....huh?

It was brought to my attention today at 6am that my "JOB" is to be a stay-at-home mom and that therefore, I don't GET days off. The ONE day I asked to sleep in I was told that it's my JOB to wake up EVERYDAY with my daughter. Now, typically I have NO problem getting up early, feeding my little tyke, and continuing on with the day's events, however today was quite an exception. You see, Aaron has today off (along with at least one other day this week) and he got home from work at 8:30 last night. And not only did he go to bed at the same time I did last night, he also took a nap yesterday afternoon before his four hour shift at work. HHHHMMM? Maybe it's not the fact that I couldn't sleep in, because honestly, my idea of sleeping in these days is waking up at 7:30 instead of 6:30! But the issue I had this morning was that I was TOLD that stay-at-home Moms don't GET a day off! A DAY OFF? HUH!? I was asking for an extra HOUR of sleep! Are you kidding me?

I'm not complaining about my "duties" as a stay-at-home mom. I LOVE that I have the option to stay home. I'd probably DIE if I had to leave my little sugar at a daycare all day! I just have a BIG issue with someone telling me that since he works 30 hours a week that I NEVER get to sleep in an extra hour when he's PERFECTLY capable of getting up. It goes back to my year-long complaint that DADS just AREN'T MOMS! GGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

So my question to you faithful readers is: SHOULD stay-at-home Moms have a day of rest?

Weekly Annoyances (3)

Let's just dive right into the maddness of what these past couple weeks have been...
The following are my recent annoyances:

1) People asking me "when are you gonna write a new blog"...WHEN I'm READY, damn it!

2) Girls lying about being knocked up...just admit it, damn...you think you're the ONLY one?

3) The theme to "Cops" being Aaron's ringtone on his cell...fitting yes, but unnecessary and quite disturbing.

4) The Bachelor not starting until 9:31 because of freakin' Dancing With The Stars...ugh! We've already seen Heather Mills fall due to her fake leg...what more do we need to see? Ew, that was mean!

5) Having only ONE vehicle, due to Aaron's recent crash, and having to tote him around EVERYWHERE!!! (Although I'm VERY grateful he's safe!)

6) Gas prices...$3.19...are you KIDDING me?

7) Lilly CONSTANTLY screaming "DUCK" everytime she sees ANYTHING flying in the sky! As cute as it sounds, imagine waking up at 6:45, not only to twelve geese outside your bedroom window, but to your daughter yelping "DUCK MAMA, DUCK. MAMA MAMA MAMA, DUCK!" through the monitor...and then expecting you to take her outside to feed them the last of your loaf of bread!

8) Black coffee table and end tables that need countless hours of dusting frequently throughout the day.

9) Student Loan payments!

10) Iowa....don't ask!

11) Your soon-to-be-year-old daughter only walking in the EVENINGS right before bed....odd, I agree...but it's "her thing".....

"Say Duck!"

If you're a new mother you are COMPLETELY going to understand my frustrations on this topic....Why is it that EVERY new mom and dad HAS to compare his/her child to YOUR child? I'm sorry, but this is ONE thing I swore I'd never do. I had my daughter around the same time as TWO of my cousins on my dad's side and similar times as my uncle and aunt on my mom's side, (follow that?).
My uncle and his wife chose to wait until they were in their mid/late 30's until they had a child. Aaron and I obviously are ten years younger than them and aren't married (yet!). But for SOME reason, it has been a constant comparison from the day I found out I was pregnant up to this very day! They live out of state so we rarely get the girls together, who, by the way, are four and half months different in age (my daughter being younger!). So this past Friday we got together for dinner. It was the first time we've all been together since their daughter's first birthday, which was in January.
Aaron decided to stay home because he cannot STAND the way we are treated when we're around them. Sure, we're young and we PROBABLY should have waited....but we didn't and the reality is that we have a GORGEOUS little daughter and we wouldn't do ANYTHING to change it...no matter how young or broke or unmarried (hahaha!) we are! They walk in the door and the FIRST thing I hear is "OH MY GOSH, LOOK HOW BIG SHE IS!" Yes, my daughter IS in the 60th percentile for weight....SO!??!?! She's healthy!!! I looked over at my mom after hearing this and gave her "THE" look....She just laughed, knowing what was about to come of the dinner conversation.
We took our seats at the designated table and I heard, "Gretchen, does she eat food? What do you feed her? Is she still eating baby food?" UGH! "Yes, she eats about five things of baby food a day." Knowing this was going to be the "WRONG" thing to do, I just sat back and prepared myself for the lecture..."OH REALLY? THAT MUCH? Gracie doesn't eat any baby food anymore. She hates the texture. I think it's the texture. She'll eat my granola bar and my apples, but not baby food." That's nice, I wanted to say. "I give her a lot of yogurt. Have you tried giving her yogurt?" Seriously. This lady! Then I heard, "Can she drink out of a cup yet?" "A sippy cup you mean? Yeah, she does that." "OH NO! I mean a REAL cup. Can't she drink out of a REAL cup yet? That's Gracie's big thing. She's been doing that for awhile. She was probably Lilly's age or younger. I'm sure Lilly should be doing that." LADY! UGH! Let it go, Gretch! Let it go!
My mom probably has bruises on her shin from all the under-the-table kicking I did to her throughout the duration of the dinner. Trying to keep the conversation AWAY from the girls I tried talking to my uncle about different things...however EVERYTHING kept going back to what Gracie was doing that Lilly wasn't....You know, I can take a LOT of bragging from parents, but THIS was annoying. I wanted to blurt out "MY CHILD HAS BEEN CRAWLING SINCE SHE WAS FIVE MONTHS OLD. YOUR CHILD DIDN'T START CRAWLING UNTIL AFTER HER FIRST BIRTHDAY! MY CHILD WAS LITERALLY CRAWLING CIRCLES AROUND YOUR BABY AT HER FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY! MY CHILD HAS BEEN SPEAKING FOUR OR FIVE DIFFERENT WORDS FOR MONTHS. I'VE YET TO HEAR YOUR DAUGHTER BLURT A SOUND FROM HER PRECIOUS LITTLE MOUTH! MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN STANDING AND WALKING AROUND THINGS SINCE SHE WAS SEVEN MONTHS OLD AND YOUR DAUGHTER HASN'T EVEN FIGURED OUT HOW TO STAND UP WITH HELP. AND BY THE WAY, FOR HAVING A LOT OF MONEY, YOU DON'T DRESS YOUR DAUGHTER THAT WELL!" But I didn't, for fear my mom would KILL me.
It's just annoying. I mentioned to my uncle that Lilly just learned a new word, DUCK! What do I hear, "OH WE KNOW DUCK. SAY DUCK GRACIE, DUCK. DUCK. DUCK." By the confused look on Gracie's face she hadn't even HEARD the word, let alone said it!
I just don't understand why EVERYTHING has to be such a competition. Your child is over FOUR months OLDER than my daughter. I don't CARE what your daughter is doing---even if it's something MY daughter's NOT doing. She'll do it-- probably in four months, like she SHOULD be doing it. I promised myself a LONG time ago that I wouldn't be "that" mom....If there's something she SHOULD be doing that she's NOT, I'll admit it. If there's something she's doing that seems "early" for her age, I'll keep it to myself and NOT go about the town ranting and raving about how damn brilliant my child is! C'mon people! They're KIDS. They're going to do things at DIFFERENT times.
Like Aaron tells me though...this isn't about the girls. This is about parenting. They're older than we are and sometimes I think we're doing things just as well, if not better, than they are. We don't have nearly the money (and therefore the resources) that they have, but Lilly is developing just fine.
It's times like these I just look at the people around me (Aaron, my mom, my brothers, my sister, etc...) and can't help but feel completely blessed for the love and support Lilly and I get.

Reality of Today's World...scary

I spent Friday night with my family back home and it was there that I realized that I have some hard ass family members who, in my opinion, lack a heart! My lovely Uncle Phil is the TOUGHEST critic you'll ever meet in your lifetime. He loves his family, but beyond that, don't expect a loving embrace!
We somehow got on the topic of the recent events at Virginia Tech. Sure, I'm female and perhaps as a mother I have sympathetic feelings that some men may not understand...I say this only because I've recently heard Aaron complain about the constant coverage of the Virginia Tech massacre on MSNBC and Headline News, but SOMEWHERE in your being you HAVE to have compassion for these people and the friends and family of those who have lost someone in this tragedy.
My uncle, however, is not one of these people. He can't understand why the Kalamazoo campus is holding prayer vigils....or why people in California, Michigan, New Hampshire, Indiana, etc are upset about this horrific event. My response to him was, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" I kept asking him "what if it was YOUR child who got hurt," or "what if it was the campus where YOUR child attended?"...."Would you care THEN?"....And of course he said he would, but I guess it just got me thinking.....What have I done? Why would I bring a child into THIS world? Into THIS mess? Into THIS chaos? What right do I have to bring an innocent, unharmed human being into THIS kind of life and tragedy?
It doesn't matter WHAT Aaron or I do to TRY to protect our daughter for what is the reality of this world....danger is EVERYWHERE. It's in the small rural areas, it's in the large metropolis areas, it's EVERYWHERE. There is NO safe place anymore. And it's so sad to admit that, but it's so true.
Do I plan on smothering my daughter and holding her hostage in my house, of course not. But it DOES make me think twice about allowing her to do the simple things that I, as a young child, was allowed to do. Sure, I have plenty of time to worry about her growing into a teenager and such, but I think back to how things were even four years ago and wonder what the next four or eight years hold for this world. It's a scary scary thought...but again...this is the reality of today's world.