#beintentional

I'm definitely still on a wedding-high, but there's been a reality to my marriage in the past month that I'm not sure I would have noticed in my "younger" years. I always heard that the first year of marriage was hard. And I had married friends tell me that it was true. Charlie and I had to do a few months of pre-marital counseling and holy cow am I grateful for that. The pre-marital counseling sparked conversations between the two of us that definitely wouldn't have happened had we not done the counseling. One of the biggest things Charlie and I talked about was what we wanted from each other in our marriage and how we didn't want to be a statistic...we wouldn't let our marriage fail. In a time that so many relationships fail, we knew that we couldn't just have a mediocre friendship and love. We knew we would have to "step it up" when it came to our relationship. Thus the term #beintentional came about in our relationship.
No one accidentally stays married for sixty years. No one accidentally falls in love. It's a choice. You choose to forgive. You choose to go on dates. You choose to put each other first. You choose to have the tough conversations. You choose to make things work, every.single.day. Charlie pointed out to me last night that it's much like being a Christian..no one accidentally becomes a follower of Christ. It's a choice. And you don't just accidentally "stay" being a Christian...you work at it. You read His Word. You study it. You choose to live it.
I don't know what being in love forever looks like for other people. All I know is what Charlie and I have decided to do in our marriage. And yes, we're rookies at this. But just like being a Christian, it is something that we're going to have to work at, study, and learn every single day.
For us, #beingintentional means planning date nights for each other. It means doing devotionals together. It means talking..a lot. It means putting down the phone, turning off the TV, closing the book, and learning about each other over and over. It means going on bike rides together. It means playing tennis as a family. It means trusting each other and knowing that we have each other's back in life. It means working towards the goals we've set for our family. It means sticking to a budget. It means putting Christ first, each other second. It means really really really trying.
I look forward to falling in love with my husband over and over. I can't wait to see what forever looks like for us.

I'm a Mrs.!!!!

Well it's official...I'm Mrs.Charles Coyne! Holy moly! It has been four weeks since our wedding and we're slowly adjusting to living as a family of four! It's interesting because Charlie and I didn't live together before we got married, and basically the kids and I have lived on our own for over four years! We I was very set in my ways and it's been quite the change having a man live in the house! Of course it's INCREDIBLE being married! It's soooo great falling asleep next to the man of your dreams (quite literally) and waking up next to him! We've had a few minor frustrations, as I'm sure is normal anytime you blend two adults and two kids, but we've worked through them, and been able to enjoy the married life for the past four weeks!
The wedding day was pretty stress-free, but I'll admit that I have NO IDEA how people have huge weddings! The morning of the wedding, I took off for a bike ride bright and early while my mom stayed with the kids. I took the time to just ride through the foggy morning and sat at a pond near our house, reflecting on the past seven years; the struggles the kids and I had been through, the failed relationships I had experienced, the frustrating moments of single-parenthood, etc...and I was able to clearly look towards my future with a man who I know will always have my back in life, who will always be there for me to help me and support  me through everything. What. A. Feeling. I cried a few tears, said a prayer, and headed back home to start getting ready for what would be the biggest day of my life.
My brother, cousin, and I went to yoga that morning. AAAAAH! Re-lax-a-tion. It was the PERFECT way to kick off the outdoor wedding festivities! Soon it was time to start getting ready for the ceremony...what was supposed to be a partly-sunny day turned out to be a torrential downpour day. As I stood at my back door looking out into the backyard, watching it slowing turn from green grass to a flooded rainwater mess, I simply laughed and said "nicely played weatherman, nicely played!" And so as the trillion texts came in from my friends assuring me that rain on the wedding day meant good luck (whatever), I was off to Roanoke, windshield wipers on full blast, ready to marry my best friend! I had a brief meltdown on the way to Roanoke as I looked to the backseat at my kids thinking that things were about to change so much for all of us (in a good way, of course!!). We prayed together, asking God to have His hands on our family that day and always, to help us with the adjustment of having a stepdad/husband, to give us strength to love like He does, and to allow us to enjoy the day and soak it all in.
I'll spare you the wedding details, but it was all perfect. I wouldn't have changed one thing! The rain broke long enough for our (amazing) photographer to snap a few outside pictures after the ceremony. The dinner was great, our company perfect, and things went off without a hitch. It truly was the wedding of my dreams!
I am so insanely happy and I couldn't have asked for a better man to be married to!